Expanding
by Arwen4eva
Summary: Feyre and Rhys have made the decision that a little bundle of joy is the next step in their lives. But, worries and concerns come to light... will they break Feyre's heart forever? I DO NOT OWN THE ACOTAR SERIES.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, hello! I have had this story planned out for _ages_ and finally my muse decided to let me write it out! I'm not sure how many chapters this will contain, but I do hope you enjoy!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

It has been over a century since the war against Hybern that threw Prythian upside down. It took a considerable amount of time for the Courts to rebuild and settle once again, to truly believe that we are safe and peace reigns at last. After the longest time, I have been able to enjoy the time with my family, and my wonderful mate. It took a while to get used to it, considering that we have never had any truly peaceful time together without something else happening or pressing on us.

Fifteen years ago, Rhys and I confessed to each other that whilst we adore spending time with each other, we finally felt ready to try for a new addition to our wonderful family. We had spoken about it before, perhaps forty or so years ago, but decided we weren't ready for the responsibility of a little one: we had Cass and Az after all.

We have been trying ever since our decision, but I am struggling to conceive. It certainly isn't through lack of trying because my love for Rhys and his love for me has only grown exponentially, as has the intimate knowledge of each other's bodies.

I feel my mate walk up behind me as I stare out of our bedroom window, looking at the beautiful simplicity of Velaris. His steps are near silent on the carpet before stopping behind me. His arms slide around my waist as he presses against my back.

"What's wrong, darling?" he mumbles, head resting against mine. "There is all sorts across the bond … I'm not entirely sure what you're feeling."

A sigh escapes me, an unhappy one. I'm not entirely sure what I'm feeling either. It is all a large... jumble. I relax my muscles, sinking backwards against my mate's chest.

I try to speak, but tears sting at my eyes. I spend a moment trying to force them back.

"I... I worry that I am doing something wrong." I whisper, a lump forming in the back of my throat.

Rhys is quiet for a second, considering the meaning behind my words. It is clear he knows what I am talking about when he says, "Why would you think that?"

My eyes slip shut and I take a breath. "We've been trying for fifteen years, Rhys. There is still no baby."

Rhys rests his chin on my shoulder, his breath fanning over my neck. The steady weight of him provides an anchor, helping me keep my emotions under control.

"Fae children are a rarity, sweetheart." Rhys says, softly. I already know that, but surely it does not take this long. "For some, it can take a while. I know of some who spent years and years trying to conceive, so we have nothing to worry about."

I let out a breath, soothed slightly by my male's words. I open my eyes, looking out the window again.

"Mentally, I suppose I am still used to human reproduction." I say, my voice quiet. "Sometimes, all it can take is one time and next thing you know, a baby has arrived."

Rhys chuckles into my ear, his arms tightening around my waist. "If that were the case for us, my darling, we would have dozens of children running about the place."

Despite my previous sadness, I manage a laugh and relax more. I turn to face my mate and his concern for me is so clear on his features. My right hand raises to brush some hair away from his forehead.

"Are you sure it is natural for it to take a while?" I ask, needing to double-check.

Rhys smiles and leans in. His lips capture mine in such a tender way that I can't help but melt into him. I slide my arms up to wind them around his neck. Strong arms tighten more around my waist.

"I am absolutely sure, Feyre darling." he tells me when we part. His nose nudges mine. "You have nothing to worry about whatsoever."

I give myself a minute of staring at my mate, allowing his words to sink in and accept them, before a smile forms on my lips.

"I believe you promised me some lunch."

Somehow, the sound of my mate's laughter allows me to forget my worries and I focus on the now... on us.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello, hello! The second instalment is here! Thank you to those who reviewed or sent me kind messages!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I sit on the balcony connected to mine and Rhys' room, my legs dangling through the bars and my socked feet occasionally kicking.

It has been just over a year since I last spoke to Rhys about my concerns about not conceiving and I have spent that time trying not to worry... but now my concerns have come back full-force - no... tenfold. I had pulled away from my mate when I had woke this morning, heading up to the roof after hastily changing to try and calm myself before heading over to the House of Wind for some space. Cass, being Cass, wouldn't accept my so called wallowing and had encouraged me to train with him for a while.

But that plan had fallen through when I had tears streaming down my flushed cheeks, and a scream tearing from my throat as I battered his wrapped hands with my fists. Cass had tried to calm me, but I immediately winnowed back to the town house, back to the roof, before he could ask what, precisely, was wrong.

A blanket suddenly wraps around my shoulders, startling me so profoundly that my heart leaps to my throat. I turn my head up, to my left, and see Mor standing there. The woman I so easily consider to be my sister sits beside me, crossing her legs and ensuring she is tilted to better face me.

My hands grip the edges of the blanket, wrapping it tighter around me to fend off the chill I hadn't entirely noticed until now.

"What's wrong, Fey?" she asks me, her voice soft. "Rhys sent me to talk to you: he's really worried about you. We all are." I remain silent, my gaze fixed on the blanket around me. Tears sting at my eyes, and I will them back. I have done more than enough crying. "We heard what happened earlier with Cass."

Despite my best efforts, my eyes screw shut and a sob worms its way free. Then another. Then another.

Mor wraps her arms around me, her head pressed tightly to mine. She holds me as more tears leak free, as more sobs wreck my body. She holds me as if my life depends on it. She holds me until I have no more tears left within me, until I can stifle the sobs.

"What is it? You know you can talk to me, Fey." she tells me. I look at her. Her warm hands cup my cheeks, thumbs swiping over my skin to remove the traces of tears. "Everything we tell each other remains between us, remember?"

I manage a nod, swallowing thickly. I know what needs to be said, yet... saying it will make my fears more _real._ I roughly scrape my palms over my face, sliding my arm out from beneath the blanket to wipe my nose against the cuff of my jumper. Mor clucks her tongue in disapproval and produces a tissue for me.

I wipe my nose before pulling my arm back into the confines of the blanket.

"Rhys and I have wanted a child for sixteen years now, and I have still not been able to give him one." I whisper, voice cracking. "I woke up earlier this morning and my bloody biannual flow had arrived."

"It's all right, Feyre." Mor tells me, pulling me closer to her side. A kiss is pressed to my hairline and I close my eyes. "I know you will have heard this before, but Fae children _are_ rare so it does take its time. I know someone in Velaris who waited half a century for the child they now have."

I tilt my head to rest it on Mor's shoulder, hiding my face from her. "I don't think I am physically able to carry a child."

There, the words that I have carried around with me for years. My worst fear.

"Don't be silly." Mor says, attempting to reassure me.

I shake my head, lifting it from her shoulder so I can look at her. "Elain and Lucien have their one month old and it took them at least a decade to even _talk_ let alone let their bond snap into place." I counter. "They weren't even trying and yet, Elain conceived. I was mortal once, surely my reproductive capacity would remain the same?"

A sudden stabbing slices through my abdomen, making me hiss loudly. My hands scramble to grip my stomach, unsettling the blanket so it falls from my shoulders; my body instinctively crumpling forwards.

"Is it your flow?" Mor asks and I answer with a nod, my jaw clenched.

I try to let the pain ebb so I can talk, but it doesn't. It feels as if it only grows.

"I'm always in... a lot of pain." I say through gritted teeth. "Rhys usually helps me out but... I just can't face him. It's another reminder of my failure."

"Fey, look at me." Mor requests, and... I can't. I can't turn my head. Seemingly impatient, Mor turns my head to her with her hand cupping my cheek. "You are not a failure, in any way, _ever_. The Mother works in very mysterious ways. Perhaps she is waiting for the opportune time to surprise you and Rhys with a little version of you guys."

I rest my head against Mor's shoulder again, dragging the blanket so it surrounds me again.

"If that is the case, then the Mother needs to get her bloody ass into gear." I mumble.

Mor snorts loudly, and I can't help the small laugh that is released.

"It will happen, Fey." she tells me. "It will."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello, hello! Here we go with another chapter for this story. There is no set plan on when updates will be - it is just when I have time around my apprenticeship.**

 **Thank you for your reviews!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I sit on one of the large wooden benches within the garden, Nesta beside me on my left.

My sister isn't a huge part of the family. She stays mainly to herself and lives elsewhere in Velaris to have her own space and be herself. But, we are lucky because she does make the effort for dinner at least once a week with us all and attends the occasional gathering held here at the town house, or up at the House of Wind.

It wasn't at all like that to begin with... Nesta could barely look at us, let alone be around us after the war against Hybern. It was a difficult time for us all to reacclimatise a rebuild. I was worried that Nesta would attempt to ki... no. I shake my head. I won't think about that time any more.

She keeps pushing Cass away, something Mor and I have discussed at length, to our confusion. We know that they have constantly given in to the temptation of each other's bodies this past century, Nesta avoiding us for at least the day or two afterwards, and Cass is in one of _those_ moods the morning after and Rhys has to help him cool off every time. Yet, other than them indulging themselves in each other - and only in each other - nothing has come of it.

Nesta had come over a bit earlier today as she is with us for dinner. I'd let her in and she'd quickly asked where Elain was, eager to see her as she normally is. I don't mind her not being close to me after what we have been through; especially after how she became fae alongside Elain.

I have my family here already; Nesta just has me and Elain, but it doesn't phase me when she prefers being with Elain. I have Mor when I want sisterly chats, or just generally a sister.

Elain is working on small areas of the garden, giving it her magic touch. Lucien stands near to his mate, holding their little one in his arms. My six-month old niece, Mirielle, is fast asleep in her father's arms, bundled in a blanket to keep her cosy.

It isn't long at all before the longing sets in once again. Who am I kidding... it is always there. I want to be able to hold a beautiful bundle in my arms, but for it to be my _own_ baby, not my niece. I want to look down and see the perfect combination of me and Rhys looking back up at me.

"How do you keep finding the energy to avoid Cass despite being so drawn to him?" I find myself asking Nesta, my eyes still on little Mirielle.

I see her head whirl to me in my peripheral. "I don't know what you mean."

A sigh escapes me, showing just how tired I am. Because I truly am... I'm tired of hoping, and hoping, and hoping, with absolutely nothing changing.

"We do know that you and Cass have moments of intimacy together, yet nothing comes of it." I tell her, tearing my gaze from my niece to her.

"You can't know that." Nesta says, becoming defensive. I can see the fire in her eyes.

"All I am saying is that it is obvious when you two have been together." I say, my voice calm to avoid any argument that could erupt. "You don't tend to be around any of us for a few days after and with Cass... Rhys has to train with him for at least an hour so he isn't agitated and lashes out at all of us."

A frown mars Nesta's brow. "Has he said something?"

"Cass? No, he never talks." I tell her honestly. "Rhys has known Cass for a ridiculously long time, Nesta. He understands his moods and to be perfectly honest? When you have been mated for as long as I have, the signs are there and aren't hard to read."

I can see Nesta trying to formulate an argument, but she deflates a second later.

"I just... I don't feel like I can deal with the _commitment_." she admits to me. I turn to face her better, showing her she has my attention. Even now, after so many years, she still doesn't know how to open up very well. "After Hybern's defeat... I was in a bad place for a long time. I couldn't cope being Fae, something I despised for so long..."

"You're better now." I tell her, managing a slight smile. "You're spending time with your family, which isn't just Elain and me, and you're making a living for yourself working in the best bakery in Velaris."

Nesta nods, her gaze falling to her hands. Her fingers are twisting together in her lap. "That's true, yet... I'm always drawn to Cass... I know I like being with him, but then I feel so _scared_ and anxious and I just _can't_."

"So how do you find the energy?" I ask her.

Nesta takes a breath. "I suppose I have the energy because maybe one day it will change. Maybe one day I won't feel so scared and be ready for that step."

We are silent for a long while. My gaze goes back to my lap, and I allow the gentle sound of birds to try and calm me.

It is easier for Nesta to find the energy. She can see Cass, she knows that he is there for her when she needs him to be. But for me...

"Why do you ask, Feyre?" Nesta asks me, interrupting my thoughts.

My gaze raises of its own accord until I am looking at Lucien. Mirielle has obviously woken as he is softly cooing down at her.

"I..." My throat closes slightly and I swallow thickly. "I feel like I may just give up on trying to have children of my own. I think it would be better."

"Why do you think that?"

My hands subconsciously drift to my stomach. "We have been trying for so long. Everyone says that Fae children are rare and that it does take time, but Elain conceived Mirielle without trying, and very quickly too. Each time my flow arrives, I feel like I have been broken in two." I successfully manage to force back tears trying to escape my eyes. "I don't think I can do it any more. There is nothing but disappointment each time. It is like each time, my heart breaks and I fear it may never heal again."

I jump when I feel Nesta's hand grip my own. Quickly, I snap my gaze to her.

"You have to remain hopeful, Feyre." she tells me. "Back in the mortal realm, you were the only one of us who actually had any hope. You clearly had enough within you to cope, to know that you would survive here. You had enough hope to get to where you are today, Feyre. Don't let that hope fade away, _please_."

I force a smile to my lips and manage a nod. It appeases my sister and she turns back to watch Elain with her mate and daughter. She's right, I was the one who had hope and it got me this far.

But, I just can't hold onto it any more.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here we are, another chapter! Thank you for your very kind reviews! I love that you guys are enjoying this story so much!**

 **Keep Smiling! :)**

I instinctively curl my body inwards, burying my face into my pillow to try and muffle my sobs. Agony rips through me, my biannual flow having arrived once again.

It is meant to be a happy day today. Starfall is tonight, and yet I can't feel any happiness within me; not the slightest kernel. I can sense Rhys lingering by our open bedroom door, Cass and Az joining him. He tried to comfort me this morning when I woke up with the pains, but I couldn't have him near me.

I couldn't even face him, feeling nothing other than a complete and utter failure. Twenty years and absolutely no baby. I should be able to give my mate the child we crave _so_ badly, but there are no results. I just don't have any more hope left within me.

My mortal heart cannot take any more pain... Having my monthly courses would have been better, knowing for sure whether our labour bore fruit. But having my flows only twice a year, I get my hopes up for months on end until it is utterly clear I carry no child within me.

All of a sudden, I feel Rhys' hand on my shoulder but I cannot bring myself to look at him... That only makes me sob harder; more so as a flash of searing pain strikes my lower stomach.

"We've brought in a healer for you, darling." he tells me, his voice soft but loud enough to be heard over my cries. "Hopefully she can make you feel better."

Vaguely, I register a female voice ushering the males out of the room. A weight settles closely beside me, on the edge of the bed. A hand then begins to stroke over my disastrously unbound hair. After a matter of minutes, I manage to calm down and remove my face from my pillow.

A kind, slightly wrinkled face greets me. I gaze at the warm brown eyes and a gentle smile, allowing them to calm me.

"That's it, keep breathing calmly." the healer tells me, her hand continuing to move over my hair. "I'm Madia, sweetheart. It is lovely to meet you, though I am sure we would have both preferred better circumstances."

I try to smile but the only thing that comes from me is another sob as a cramp rips through me, and doesn't fade.

Madia shifts, her hand moving from my hair and into her worn burgundy leather satchel. She pulls out a bottle and carefully slides her hand beneath my neck.

"Drink this, Feyre." she tells me, lifting my head for me. "It will help you."

I allow the bitterly sweet liquid to flow into my mouth and I swallow it. Within moments, the pain dies down. It is still there, and I still hurt, but it is considerably more manageable.

"Do you think you can sit up?" Madia asks me, seeing that I have uncurled slightly. After a few seconds of consideration, I nod. Tenderly, she stands and helps me to sit up. I tightly grip the blanket in my lap as pain ripples in my stomach at the movement. Hastily, Madia adjusts the pillows behind me before helping me to lie back against them, sitting me up more.

I take a deep breath, my fingers twisting the blanket.

"What caused you to be so upset today, Feyre?" Madia asks me.

My gaze falls to my hands, tears swimming in my eyes before slipping down my cheeks. It's an automatic reaction now. "We... we've been trying for a baby for so long. Having my biannual flow arrive... it is more than just the physical agony for me now and it's been that way for a while."

Madia's hands grip my own and I raise my eyes to hers. "Fae children _are_ rare, sweetheart, and I can understand that you are struggling - more so since you are actively trying to have a baby."

"I'm just losing hope every time," I admit quietly. "and I feel as if it is all gone now. My family try to reassure me but they always say the same thing: fae children are rare."

"There is nothing to be concerned about." Madia says, her voice soft. "I am saying that from a healer's perspective. Your body is more than healthy and whilst your flows _are_ very painful, I don't necessarily think there is anything to worry about." I drop my gaze but return it to her when she squeezes my hands. "The Mother is one who works very mysteriously. One day you could find that you don't think about it and a baby will arrive."

Tears sting at my eyes again, and this time I drop my gaze and don't raise it. I remain quiet, my thoughts all over the place.

"I'm going to be here for you, Feyre," Madia tells me, tears filling my eyes once more. "whenever you need me to be... If your concerns become very pressing, if you feel like you truly cannot conceive, then I will be here to help you through it all. I promise."

I take a deep breath, dashing my tears away. I look up at the healer and nod.

"I will prepare and supply you with bottles of the tonic I gave you when the pain is too much to bear; which I have heard from your mate can be the majority of the time. As you can feel, it doesn't take the pain away but it makes it more manageable for you."

I nod once again, then feel Rhys tenderly pressing against my shields. "I think Rhys wants to come in." I tell Madia.

She smiles at me. "Let him in, sweetheart. I could talk to him, if you'd like?"

I can still feel Rhys against my shields.

 _You can come in, if you want to._

A second later, the door opens and Rhys cautiously walks in. He gives Madia the slightest smile before climbing onto our bed. Immediately, he opens his arms and I cuddle into his side; seeking his love and comfort.

"Is everything all right?" he asks, pressing a kiss to my forehead. His right hand drifts to my lower back and rubs soothingly there; a way of trying to relieve some of my pain.

"I am going to help Feyre with her pain and support her through each of her flows." Madia informs my mate. He rests his lips against my forehead, his hand continuing to move, but this time under my jumper so his warm fingers are against my skin. "I know you are actively trying for a baby, and it can take its time."

"I have tried to reassure you, my darling." Rhys whispers to me. "You just didn't let me realise you felt so bad about it all."

I hide my face in his shoulder, feeling guilty.

"It is natural to want to hide it, Rhysand." Madia says, her voice kind. "Considering her background, it is difficult for Feyre to process it taking so long. Right now, the best we can do is support and soon enough, the Mother will give you a child."

I let out a slight whimper, trying to hold back a sob, and Rhys holds me tighter. I also feel Madia's hand rubbing over my back.

"I don't want you to think about this tonight." she tells us. "I want you to focus on the festivities tonight - it is Starfall after all. You need to have time focused on just you two. I need you to promise me that."

I feel Rhys nod against my head, pressing a kiss to my hair. I reveal my face and look at him. Guilt creeps up within me but I manage a smile. I turn my gaze to Madia.

I swallow thickly, removing the lump from my throat. "I promise."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hello, hello! This update is different to the others - it is happy! A lot of you guys have begged for this!**

 **Thank you for all your reviews! :)**

 **Keep Smiling**

I fly as quickly as I possibly can from the town house, soaring up swiftly to the House of Wind. Rhys is there with Az and Cass, training together this morning as they do every few days. When I arrive, I hover for a moment, my mighty wings flapping steadily behind me, watching my mate move before slowly gliding down and landing softly.

Rhys punches Cassian's pad covered hands twice more before turning his head towards me. He breathes heavily for a moment before I notice his nostrils flaring. A frown appears and then all of a sudden, he has winnowed in front of me. His hands are quickly on my shoulders, his grip tight and frantic.

"What's wrong? I can smell healer on you." he says.

I blush, not thinking that he may have been able to smell Madia on me, or the medication she had me take this morning.

"I did ask Madia to see me not too long ago. I wanted to have something checked." I confirm.

Immediately, I can see Rhys beginning to freak out. He suddenly checks my temperature, my pulse, washing his darkness over me to seek out any bad that could be ravaging my body.

"Rhys." I say, my hands grabbing his cheeks and stopping him in an instant. "There is nothing wrong. Madia told me it is very good news for once."

Adorably, Rhys' features wash in confusion, his hands resting on my hips. I smile shyly at him, sliding my hands down his chest until they rest on my stomach.

"I'm... I'm pregnant." My voice is quiet, soft... but happy. Immeasurably happy.

Rhys stares at me, blank. It's as if he hasn't heard my words. Or... maybe despite all this wanting, now it has happened he doesn't _actually_ want a child with me.

Suddenly, he drops down to his knees, onto those precious and powerful mountains and stars. Loud sobs break free from him as he buries his face into my stomach, arms surrounding my waist tightly.

I laugh happily, my hands threading through Rhys' hair and holding him against me. I turn my head to see Cass and Az walking towards us, concerned.

"You sensitive Illyrian males." I say softly, still laughing. At their confused expressions, I tell them, "I've just found out that we are finally having the baby we've waited for."

Twin grins cover their faces and they congratulate us, but don't step any closer. When I ask them why, Cassian explains, "Think of it like when you guys first mated, his instincts will be heightened and all over the place."

"Oh right." I say, looking back down at my mate. "So, we will have even more over protective Rhys?"

Cass and Az laugh before they begin to turn away. "We'll give you some time for just you two." Az says.

Before I can respond to them, I find that we have suddenly winnowed back to our bedroom in the town house. Rhys is still kneeling in front of me, but he has stopped crying.

"Rhys?"

Slowly, he leans back on his knees and presses reverent kisses to my stomach.

"After twenty-one years of trying, we finally have the baby we wished for so hard. I just... I can't believe it." he mumbles, looking up at me.

I stroke back some of his hair and smile. "I can hardly believe it either. I was so sure it was never going to happen - only a week ago I was contemplating talking to Madia about checking if I could actually conceive or not. But when I started getting the symptoms a few days ago, I was so scared to believe it."

Rhys rests his chin gently on my stomach. "How far along are you?"

"Madia suspected around three months. My stomach is already very slightly puffy which she said is the sign of our child growing, and as you have noticed, my breasts are slightly bigger too." I say, almost not believing my own words.

Rhys laughs, tears in his eyes, and presses a lengthy kiss to my stomach.

"I truly cannot believe it." he whispers. Tears slip down my cheeks at the sight of the monumental love in my mate's eyes; for me, for _us_.

Rhys stands up a moment later, his hands moving to my stomach; as if to not disconnect from our child. My hands cover his with ease.

"I will apologise now because I am going to be insufferable for a long time to come." Rhys tells me. Unable to help myself, I laugh. My happiness is almost overwhelming. "My instincts are already roaring at me to protect you and our little one growing inside you. I know it is going to only get worse."

I raise my right hand to his cheek, keeping my left entwined with his above the place where our child - _an actual baby_ \- resides and grows.

"That doesn't matter to me, Rhys." I tell him honestly, still blown away by the news we have waited so long for. "Our dreams have finally come true."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

I gently rest my hands on my stomach, Rhys curled up beside me on our bed. He is resting on his side, his right arm around my shoulders and acting as a pillow, his left arm carefully draped over my stomach.

At four months pregnant, there is now quite a noticeable swell to my stomach, showing I am with child. We announced the pregnancy a week ago, confident that we are past the stage of risk, and the Court have been nothing but positive and supportive. Telling them made it truly real and it still blows me away that I am growing a baby within me. I don't feel too different.

Well... other than certain symptoms.

After spending the entire morning beside the toilet, Rhys carried me back to bed and has cradled my rough feeling body against him since.

"Have you thought about what we need to prepare before our little star arrives?" Rhys asks me, pressing a kiss to my temple.

I sigh, tilting my head to rest against his more; bone tired now my body is utterly empty. "I know that there will be a lot of things we will need for them, but there are big things we should start thinking about."

"What have you thought about that's big?"

I shift my right hand and slowly rub back and forth over Rhys' arm. "The town house isn't big enough with so many people living here." I say, eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Yes, our baby would still have their own room but we would never have the time for just the three of us. There's always someone else around."

"We can easily begin looking for a new home, darling." Rhys says, his hand stroking my hip. "We can make it perfect for us and our little one. There are plenty of areas in Velaris that have estates already built but empty which we can re-design."

I hum my agreement, thumbs feathering over my small bump. "That would be nice."

"We could even hang up pieces of your art around the house. Better than them mainly remaining in your gallery." Rhys also comments.

I twist my head slightly to look at him, a smile on my lips. "I like that idea."

Rhys grins at me and places a small peck to the tip of my nose. I let out a slight laugh before twisting my neck back to its previous position.

I look at my stomach, the noticeable swell there. My fingertips dance over the fabric of my shirt, as if searching for the little star growing inside of me. It is strange to think that soon enough I will feel their little feet kicking me, their little hands waving around... Just to feel those movements will be a blessing enough.

But holding them, feeding them, _being_ with them...

"I want to keep our baby in our room with us." I blurt out, my fingers stilling. "I want to feed them myself, not have someone else looking after them or anything, so would prefer to keep them close."

"Feyre," Rhys mumbles in my ear. "our little star can stay with us for as long as you want them to. When they're older, we can make sure that our bedroom connects with the nursery so we are still close to them."

I relax my suddenly tense body against my mate's more. He tilts his head more against mine, lips ghosting against my cheek. His hand strokes my hip before sliding to rest upon where our child is resting.

A moment later, he is gently pulling up my shirt, tucking it beneath my breasts so he can run his hand over my bare skin.

I can feel his marvel and adoration across our bond as he takes in the bump.

"I am so blessed to have you two in my life." he mumbles softly, awe in his voice.

I smile, closing my eyes. "Not as Mother blessed as we are, mate."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello, hello! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and to those who are now following the story - WELCOME!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

We sit on the large window seat, Mor and I, overlooking the wonderous sight of Velaris. Only two weeks ago, Rhys and I moved into our new house that has magnificent views of Velaris surrounding us on all sides. The estate we purchased isn't incredibly far from the town house, but the building itself is much bigger and has a gloriously large garden which will be adapted to have outdoor training grounds for us all.

We gave the town house to Elain and Lucien, a proper home of their own for them and my five-year old niece, Mirielle. Nuala and Cerridwen live with them too, helping Elain on her bad days; just like when she first became Fae. They've promised to come by and help me when we have big gatherings, or the occasional visit to Court as they are still employed by us. Nesta has even moved in with them now, but keeps to herself and is still dancing around Cass.

But, we are happy that she is living there. She is becoming closer to her family again.

"Have you started getting things for the baby yet?" Mor asks me, nudging my leg with her bare foot.

I let out a sigh, rubbing my hands over my bump which is only partially concealed by the large, baggy jumper I am wearing. There is a chill in the air today, and I'd rather feel a bit too warm than cold.

"We've made a list of things we need for the little one, but I think it is mostly furniture." I tell her.

Mor laughs, clearly not surprised. "Have you at least sorted out the nursery for them?"

I shake my head, shrugging slightly. "We've only considered where to put things and ensure there is a door between the nursery and our bedroom."

We still have months before the little one is due so Rhys and I have been taking it a bit slow organising everything. Truth be told, we are still amazed I am actually pregnant.

Mor groans, leaning backwards against the cushions behind her. Her hands come up to cover her eyes as she groans again, making me laugh.

"How can I have a family so unorganised?" she bemoans, sitting back up.

I laugh again and suddenly feel the baby wiggling around, as if they are joining in. I look down at my bump and suddenly see Mor's hands beside my own, wanting to feel their small movements.

"Don't worry." Mor says to my bump. "Auntie Mor has her wonderful niece or nephew covered."

She leans back against the cushions again. "I am only five months along, Mor." I argue. "We still have time to sort everything out."

Mor waves me off with a cheeky wink. "I will _gladly_ help with everything."

I smile, then suddenly my entire body fills with amusement, glee. I frown, my hands automatically cupping my bump.

 _Was that you, little one?_ A strong feeling of agreement washes through me.

"Feyre, what's wrong?" Mor's voice makes me snap my head up. Concern is written all over her face. "Is something wrong?"

I shake my head. "No, nothing is wrong. I just..." A feeling of reassurance floods through me then and the tension in my body seems to drain away. "The baby is sending me feelings."

"Feelings?" Mor questions, confused. She leans in closer to me, her right hand going to my bump. "I have never heard of that before."

Another feeling of amusement washes through me and Mor gasps. "Did you feel that?" I ask her.

"Barely, but it was like they were happy?" I nod, confirming that is what the feeling is. "Perhaps it is because you are Made?"

"Maybe. But, it didn't happen to Elain." I reply, running my palm over my bump. "It is very strange, but... quite the miracle."

"Well, the way I see it," Mor says, a cheeky smile on her face. "I can now have proof that I will be the _best_ auntie out there - the best auntie ever!"

I laugh as the baby sends me strong feelings of agreement. I already knew that my child would be special...

But they are truly a miracle.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello, hello! I'm back with a brand new chapter! Sorry about the long wait. I moved house on Thursday and OMG is it stressful! Thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews - and welcome to the new readers of this story!**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

"You cannot control me, Rhysand!" I seethe lowly at my mate. "You _will not_ control me!"

He steps towards me, eyes blazing dangerously. "I don't want that, darling, but I refuse to let you endanger yourself and our baby! You are six months pregnant, for Mother's sake!"

Instinctively, my hands cradle my sizable bump, feeling my little one shifting as if in reassurance. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Rhys paces the length of our bedroom, from window to door to window again, before replying. "You cannot risk the potential of you falling from the sky because you are weak; which is thanks to not sleeping and feeling like you cannot eat properly each day! It's not happening!"

Rage fills my body at his words, my hands balling into fists at my sides. "You know that if I felt that bad, I would _never_ attempt flying, let alone moving around our house." Tears fill my eyes unbidden, hurt filling me to the brim. "After wanting a baby for so long, I cannot believe that you think I would ever endanger our child. I would _never_ do such a thing."

"I know that," Rhys says, ceasing his movements and stopping in front of the bed, only two paces from me where I stand on my side of the bed. "but, I will not allow you to fly anywhere."

A fire blazes within me and I walk closer to him, my hands protectively surrounding my bump, surrounding my baby. " _You cannot control me._ " I bite out. "I know what I am doing and I would never risk harm to _my_ child."

Unable to be near such a pig-headed male right now, I attempt to walk out of the room. But Rhys grabs my arm tightly, stopping me from leaving. I look up at his face, seeing his own anger there.

But, I don't care about his anger.

"I will not let you do something that will do something as stupid as hurt _our_ child." he grits out.

As if moving of its own accord, my right hand removes itself from my bump to sharply slap across his cheek fiercely. The sound seems to echo for a moment. Taking advantage of his surprise, I quickly walk out of the bedroom, tears swirling within my eyes.

I just need to get away at this point, flying isn't quick enough for me. I winnow myself, not thinking of the destination, just knowing I need to get away for a while. I find myself atop of one of the mountains overlooking Velaris, the sight beginning to calm me.

I sit down on a soft patch of grass, producing a few cushions to help me feel more comfortable. I also conjure a blanket and wrap it around me, fighting off the light chill. Not wanting to be disturbed, I strengthen my shields considerably so there are many layers, impossible to reach me.

Baby wiggles around inside me and I cannot help but smile, something that happens every time I feel them moving. I chase every kick with my palms, grateful to have them in my life. Slowly, they stop moving, calming down.

But then, sadness and anxiety fills my body, the baby sending the emotions to me. I stroke my bump reassuringly, trying to soothe my little one. Eventually things will work out. Just, at the moment, it isn't. The feelings continue and I slowly hum to them, the feelings receding gently as they are calmed.

"Your father is a complete idiot." I tell them a while later, my voice breaking slightly.

The strong beat of wings hits my ears and I look up, seeing Rhys suddenly swooping down, out of breath. He lands gracefully a few feet away from me.

"I really am an idiot." he says, his voice wrecked, matching his appearance. "I should never have said anything, darling. I've been looking for you since you left over an hour ago, because I know I need to apologise. I stupidly let my instincts take over."

He takes a few cautious steps forwards, seeing if I will shun him. But, I could never do that. I nod to him, giving a shy smile, and he walks closer before kneeling down in front of me.

A strong feeling of joy washes through me and I cannot help but laugh, looking down at my bump.

"What is it?" Rhys asks me.

"Baby is happy that you are here." I explain, feeling the joy increase as they sense the presence of their father.

Rhys leans forwards, sliding his hands beneath the blanket and my shirt, resting his palms on my bare skin. A tidal wave of happiness washes through me, transferring over to Rhys, who gasps in awe at the feeling. It never gets old for either of us.

"I am so sorry for upsetting you as I did." he whispers to me, burying his head into my neck, hiding his face. He keeps his hands where they are, thumbs stroking over my skin.

I release one of my hands from my bump to run through his hair. "I know. I'm sorry too." I mumble. I remain quiet for a few minutes, soaking in the love from my mate. "I know it can be difficult to ignore those instincts. But, if you continue like this, I promise you'll be sleeping on the couch downstairs for the rest of this pregnancy."

Rhys laughs, showing his face again. "That is not something that will happen." He leans down and presses a kiss to my bump. "I am sorry for upsetting your beautiful mummy, little star. I'll try not to be such an ass from now on."

I quickly hit Rhys' shoulder with the back of my hand. "Rhys!" I exclaim. "Baby can hear what you say now, you can't say that around them!"

The baby sends another feeling of happiness alongside agreement through me and Rhys, making him laugh. He grins at me before leaning in and stealing a kiss.

"You are right, of course, my darling." he mumbles before kissing me again. He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle against his chest.

Despite our fight and my flurry of emotions, I cannot help but feel content and so, so blessed.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello, hello! I am blown away by the response towards my little story! Thank you so much for all your reviews, and to those pressing the follow and favourite buttons!**

 **This is the last chapter being added to this story in 2018! I hope you have a restful festive period and I look forward to continuing this wonderful story in 2019!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I nibble on a biscuit, reclined in one of the large armchairs in the living room. My little star has been shifting around quite a bit within me and I have found that I am more comfortable sitting or laying down, but I didn't want to be stuck in bed. Az and Cass are in the room with me, back from training in the garden with Rhys earlier on. Az is reading one of his many books, lounging on one of the couches whilst Cass is on the other, stretching out a twinge in his knee.

Rhys comes in and sits on the arm of the couch Az is on, looking at me. I brush the miniscule crumbs off my fingers by wiping them on my leggings and see that my mate is still staring at me.

"Is everything all right, Rhys?" I ask him, my brow furrowing.

"Feyre, daring, I find it rather endearing that you crave biscuits randomly but the crumbs that are now all over the bed are not endearing. Instead, they are really bloody anoying. Could you at least try to use a plate, or even just brush the crumbs off the covers?"

Annoyance immediately fills me, the baby's feelings heightening my own. Clearly, they don't agree with their father either.

"If you want to carry out child, you are more than welcome to." I say, my tone hard and frankly... pissed off. "Then, you can deal with all the sudden cravings that bother me so immensely that it will not pass until I have eaten at least three bloody biscuits."

The baby sends me a feeling of guilt. Oh no, baby. It isn't your fault.

"I'm not trying to upset you, darling." Rhys says, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"Oh really? If that's the case, you're doing a piss poor job of it." I spit out, unable to help myself. "I can't help it that there are crumbs everywhere - it isn't like I grab big handfuls of them and deliberately have them everywhere."

"You certainly can help it, Feyre." Rhys shoots back at me.

Suddenly, as if in the blink of an eye, Az and Cass have stood up and now flank me on either side, snarling at their brother.

"You had better back off right now, Rhysand, and not upset Feyre any more." Cassian says, his voice low and dangerous.

I am utterly shocked by their actions. They each take a menacing step forwards and Rhys stands, taking one backwards whilst holding his hands up as if in surrender.

But then I quickly realise that they are acting on their instincts, like Rhys tends to do. But they aren't just protecting their High Lady. They are protecting the female they see as their sister who is also carrying a brand new life within her.

"Guys," My voice is quiet but they immediately look at me. "Relax. It's okay."

They look uncertain for a moment before calming down, their bodies relaxing. I look back at my mate who cautiously makes his way towards me, knowing that the boys will easily hurt him if he does anything else.

Rhys kneels down in front of me, his hands making their way to my bump. Baby gives a little kick in answer.

"I'm sorry, darling. I can learn to get used to the crumbs on the bed if it means my beautiful mate and our child are happy."

I smile softly at him as Cass speaks, "It had better stay that way unless you want to get a serious ass whooping."

Despite the slight lingering tension in the room, I laugh. "Easy boys. Let's try to keep the violence away from the baby, huh?"

The boys sit back down, seeing that I am happier again. Rhys leans in to kiss me and when we part, I draw him into a hug. I look over at the boys, who are still keeping an eye on me and give them each a warm smile.

I am more than blessed to know that my little star is going to have amazing uncles in their life... even if they are a bit overbearing sometimes...

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello, hello! First update of 2019 for this story! I apologise for it being so long since the last update. I am currently in a great deal of pain and am suspected of having endometriosis which is certainly not fun in any way. So, my focus has been on trying to dull the pain. I'm off work today, as I was on Friday, hence this update now!**

 **Thank you for all of your reviews! It means the world!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I let out a huff as I slowly walk - well, it feels more like a _waddle_ now that I am in my seventh month - into the nursery for my little star. We have just made the journey back from the Court of Nightmares, a visit to check on the progress surrounding the runnings of the Court and its peoples. But, it was also partly for an old tradition; it was my last appearance before them until after the baby is born as I will remain safely in Velaris for the rest of the pregnancy. It gave members of the Court to see their High Lady thriving as she carries the heir.

Thankfully, I didn't have to do much other than sit down since standing is becoming trickier and it was a lovely atmosphere whilst everyone celebrated - nothing horrible happening or negative brought up.

The room for the nursery has the most beautiful view of the glittering Sidra. An exquisitely carved rocking chair has been placed beside the large window so when I feed my little one, I can show them and tell them all about their home. I always smile at the thought of that.

I remove the small pins in my hair keeping my tiara in place and lift the weight off my head. I place it gently on the small table beside the chair before sitting in it, relishing in the soft cushions attached for comfort. Attempting to kick off my shoes doesn't work and I try to lean down to remove them. Except the bump now gets in the way.

"Oh you bloody buggering things." I curse, getting annoyed at my swollen feet and the tendency my shoes have sticking to them. I lean back, breathing heavily for a moment to catch my breath. "Rhys?"

Almost immediately my mate walks in through the door connecting to our room. He has already changed out of his formal and constricting jacket and is in a loose shirt and trousers, infinitely more comfortable. He notices the pout on my face and presses a kiss to my forehead before kneeling in front of me, tenderly slippng the velvet slippers from my feet.

"I'll make sure to go and visit Madia in the morning, darling. Get you more of that soothing salve she gave you." he mumbles, massaging the pain from my ankles. "Then these won't be so puffy."

"It's a shame that Fae healing doesn't extend to pregnancy." I comment, running my hand over my growing bump. "I wouldn't mind having regular sized ankles and no back pain again."

One of Rhys' warm hands joins mine a few minutes later, once he has finished tending to my feet, feeling the shifting of our child within me. "I would like to give you something; you and our little one."

I frown. "What have you done?" I can't help but ask. Thankfully, Rhys just laughs which raises my curiosity.

He turns his head towards the main doors for the nursery and Az and Cass walk in, gently carrying a beautifully crafted bassinet between them, a rich purple fabric peeking out from the inside. I feel my mouth drop open in the awe I feel, watching the boys place the bassinet by the wall's edge. Both send a wide grin in my direction before leaving, giving me and Rhys some privacy.

"The plan is to have it in our room when they arrive." Rhys says, hand remaining on my bump. "So we can keep them close to us."

I run my free hand through his hair, tugging lightly on the strands. "It's so beautiful, Rhys. Thank you so much." A feeling of joy rushes through me, causing a giggle to escape. "Our little star thanks you too."

Rhys grins, slightly bashful, before he presses a kiss to my knee. "I also ensured to have a cot commissioned by the same carpenter for when they're older. Give them something else that's beautiful to look at."

"Something else?" I enquire, confused by my mate's words.

"Well, they'll be looking at their mama quite a lot - that is certainly a gorgeous sight."

I roll my eyes lovingly before shifting forwards. Sensing what I want, Rhys rises up on his knees and meets me. I shower his face with kisses, much to his delight - and our baby's.

"I love it so much." I mumble, taking a small break between my doting onslaught. Once again, I feel joy radiating through me, but this time I know that Rhys has felt it too. He never loses that look of absolute awe when he feels the baby's emotions. "We love you so much."

"I love you too, my darlings." He grins brightly at me, pressing a kiss to my lips before leaning over and doing the same for my bump. "With all that I am."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello, hello! I am finally back with an update for you. My health has had to be my priority at the moment as I'm really not feeling good. Today was a great chance to update for you as I had bloods done this morning and have the day off work, giving me the much needed time to just rest.**

 **Thank you so much for everyone who has reviewed, pressed the follow button and that favourite button for this story. It truly means such a great deal to me. I cherish the love and support I receive for my writing, and my interpretation of the characters.**

 **Hopefully, I will not be leaving such a long gap in between chapter updates but I'll have to take it as it comes. Thank you for be so patient with me!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

To say I am fed up of looking at the same few walls of our bedroom is a dramatically extreme understatement. It is getting closer and closer to my due date with me now being eight months along. Whilst I love the life I am growing within me, I am struggling to move around when I wish to as a certain someone is very active and kicking me at every opportunity, it feels. It leaves me exhausted and I can't entirely remember when I last left the house.

Desperately wanting a change of scenery, I decide to head downstairs. Really, I should be staying in bed per Madia's orders but I think I will go beyond crazy if I stay in here any longer. Besides, Rhys isn't here and cannot tell me off for simply wanting to move around.

I make progress, albeit slowly, off the bed, out of the bedroom and down the main stairs of my home. However, as I am halfway down, a strong and sharp kick is delivered to my lungs. It steals the breath straight from me, instantly making me dizzy. I try to suck in a much needed breath, but I can't. I just gasp, my vision blurring before black spots begin to dance in my eyes. I feel myself stumble dangerously and I pray to the Mother that I will not hurt my child.

That is the last thing I want.

Suddenly, arms come around me, supporting my stumbling body. I look to my right and see Mor there beside me, wrapping her arm around my sizable waist. She lifts my arm and places it around her shoulders to help steady me.

"Take it easy, Fey." she mumbles to me. "Try and take a few deep breaths for me."

I comply with her words, sucking in much needed air into my lungs. It's a time like this that makes me feel grateful that I no longer wear dresses as I grow bigger, instead wearing loose and comfortable trousers and shirts; mostly Rhys' since the majority of mine do not fit at the moment. The black spots slowly disappear and when they fade, I nod to Mor. We move cautiously down the staircase and into the sitting room. Mor takes me to the armchair that has become _mine_ and lets me sit down, fussing over the cushions behind me as I settle.

I thank her and watch as she makes her way to the small couch, sitting down on it. A look of concern crosses her face. "You should be in bed. You know Madia's rules, Fey. Your body is going through a lot carrying and growing that little one."

Instantly I shake my head. "I am going crazy up there, Mor. It's just the same walls surrounding me and I just need something else to look at for a while. Though I know I could have asked you to help me before I did."

She smiles at me but frowns soon after. "What happened on the stairs, Feyre? You looked like you were about to topple over." I explain how my little star decided to give me a kick in an unfortunate place. I'm used to feeling their bruising kicks but sometimes it is a bit much for my body to handle. "You really should be in bed."

A flood of disagreement fills me and I laugh at the response. Evidently, someone isn't happy with their mother's frustration. "I'm afraid that someone definitely disagrees with their auntie."

Mor rolls her eyes jovially. "Of course they would take your side though! You're their mummy!"

"Well, they've started also showing they're on my side by introducing kicking to happy emotions. Not to mention contented wiggling around."

I rub my hand over my bump, feeling something akin to an apology float through me. Oh, my little star. You know I don't mind - you can't help it. Besides, it means I know you are doing okay in there.

"I have heard that Illyrian babies are known to be very active in the last few months." Mor says a minute later, drawing my attention back to her. "Females are considerably more used to it because it is in her blood. Perhaps it is more of a difficult pregnancy for you because you are Made. You were born as a human and don't have the blood of an Illyrian, but carry a life who does."

I consider her words and let out a sigh, unable to help myself. "I wanted a child for so long but I never thought that it would be _this_ difficult for me. I've seen pregnant women before and they seemed to glow the entirety of their pregnancy. They never seemed to have this much difficulty." I say, casting my mind back to my years as a human girl. "I still have what feels like a lot of time until the little star arrives, meaning it is only going to get harder. I do worry that perhaps I am not doing right by them because my body doesn't seem to be strong enough. I... I feel like I may not actually make it through the birth because my body is struggling right now - or that I may do my baby harm somehow."

I don't even realise that I am crying until Mor is kneeling in front of me and tenderly brushing my cheeks with her fingers.

"Don't think like that, Fey." she tells me, one of her hands resting on my bump whilst the other tightly grips my own. "You are already such a wonderful mother. You have been growing a small life inside of you for months and you are almost there. You are _so_ close to being able to hold them. Don't worry about the birth either. You will have Rhys and Madia will do everything she can to ensure it all goes well. Plus, I promise to be with you the moment you feel that first contraction."

I sniff once and Mor squeezes my hands reassuringly. "I promise you that everything will be all right." she continues. "It is a long road that you've been on but it will end soon enough with your little star in your arms at last. You have so much love and support behind you, Fey. Remember that, please."

I smile at Mor, feeling considerably more reassured. As does my little star. They send me a wave of love and I chuckle lightly.

I'll see you soon, little one.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello, hello! This is a surprise! Considering how crappy I am feeling, I've not really left my bed this weekend. So, you get another update from me so soon! This is the biggest chapter in the story and you'll quickly see why that is the case. I am unsure when the next update will be but if it is a long gap, which I aim to avoid, then this will hopefully tide you over :)**

 **Keep Smiling!**

There are absolutely no words. No words for the extreme exhaustion clinging tightly to me. No words for the excruciating pain flooding through my lower body.

It has been such a long time, hours crawling by one after the other, since my waters broke not long after dawn. I barely have enough energy to move my arms, let alone birth my baby. At this current moment, I am laying down on the bed, my feet planted, and legs spread in the hopes of alleviating some of the pain. It also means Madia can check me whenever she pleases. Mor is sitting beside me, wiping my brow with a deliciously cool cloth, removing the sweat that seems to be pouring out of me in my exertion. Madia is somewhere else in the room, ensuring that everything is ready for when my little star finally arrives.

Mor replenishes the cloth, this time running it over my neck and chest, through the neck of my birthing gown which is exposing my skin to keep me cool but also allowing me to keep some modesty. I grab her free hand, squeezing in my gratitude. But my grip then increases as a contraction arrives. Vaguely, I hear her supporting me through it and once it fades, she presses a kiss to my forehead.

"You're doing amazing, Fey." she tells me, smoothing stray hair away from where it has stuck to my face.

I breathe heavily and nod, rubbing my hand over my bump. Soon, hopefully much sooner rather than later, I won't have such a protruding stomach and my body will no longer house another life.

I won't be pregnant any more!

"You may find walking around may encourage the babe and it may ease the pressure in you, Feyre." Madia says as she walks up to the bed, smiling empathetically. "Evidently, baby is ready to see the world but doesn't want to leave the confines and warmth of their mummy's stomach."

I nod, wanting to try anything to quicken this labour. Mor climbs off the bed, on Rhys' side and is in front of me within a moment, then helps my swing my legs around and plant my bare feet on the floor. Her strong arm comes to wrap around my waist as her spare hand slides beneath my bump to further support me.

We slowly walk around the room in circles, Mor remaining a constant presence beside me. We only stop when far apart contractions hit, each gradually longer than the last.

"Surely the contractions should be much closer together." I say, wincing at the pressure in my lower stomach. "It's been at least half a day, probably more, since my waters broke."

Madia comes up beside me and wipes my brow with the cloth Mor had abandoned before. "Some babes can take a while to arrive. All is fine though, Feyre. Do not worry yourself."

I take a deep breath as we continue walking once Madia has given me some cool water to drink. Mor mumbles encouraging nothingness to me as we go but I cannot pay any attention when the next contraction hits. It's infinitely stronger than any of the others I have experienced, and I throw both hands towards my belly, crying out loudly in pain.

I screw my eyes shut, trying to breathe through it. Footsteps approach hurriedly behind me and then I am suddenly straightening up. The scent of citrus and sea salt assaults me and I grip Rhys' arms tightly. Unable to help myself, I find tears streaming down my cheeks and sobs escaping my throat, everything suddenly too much for me to handle.

Despite Madia's words, I cannot help but feel like this isn't quite right. I've heard about long labours but by the point I'm at, their contractions are usually much closer together. Not to mention that any time I have tried to talk to my baby, it is like they are no longer there.

"Something has to be wrong." I whimper, pulling back to look at Rhys. His face is filled with fear and concern for me, and I hope I can implore him to listen. "It's like they aren't even in me anymore."

Rhys kisses my forehead. "You're doing absolutely amazing, my darling. It may just be because you are so tired, and they will be here soon enough."

Madia pads over and her firm hand rubs over the base of my back and I am supported by my mate's arms.

"I know you are worried about all this – every new mother is." she tells me. "However, I see no reason to currently be worried about the baby. By all standards, you've had a rather good pregnancy considering that your body used to be human. Don't worry yourself over this part of the journey, baby will be here soon enough."

...

A full day passes with the contractions very slowly growing closer together. It's almost midday when Madia announces that I can finally start pushing and she hurriedly grabs her essentials. Rhys is sitting behind me on the bed, supporting my completely exhausted body, whilst Mor is on my left, gripping my hand in between hers, allowing me to practically crush her bones each time a contraction comes.

Madia comes back over, situating herself in between my legs and looks up at me. "On your next contraction, I want you to push and I'll be counting. I want you to keep going until I say ten, all right?"

I nod, showing my understanding, as I try to prepare myself. As the next contraction comes, I grip Mor's hand tightly in my left, Rhys' in my right and push. Distantly, I hear Madia counting but there is such a roaring in my ears and deep tiredness in my body that I slump when I feel I cannot go on. I breathe heavily, just wishing I could pull my little star out.

"Feyre, you only went to four." Madia tells me, patting my bare knee. "I really need you to push to the full count of ten. If not, baby won't be coming out quickly."

"You can do this, darling." Rhys whispers to me.

I nod and when the next contraction arrives, I push as hard as I can, unable to comprehend anything above the pain. But, when I stop pushing, Madia informs me I have once again only reached to the count of four. My head swims as a strong lightheaded feeling overtakes me.

"Come on, Fey." Mor encourages me as I try to breathe myself back to normality. But it isn't really working. "Rhys…" Her voice has dropped now, a different tone coming out. "She looks so pale."

The words hit me, but I don't register them well. All I can think about is the potential danger my baby is in as I haven't the strength to push them into the world.

"She's losing quite a bit of blood." Madia tells my mate and sister. "We need to try and get the baby out as soon as we can. The labour has gone on for perhaps too long now. There was no reason to consider complication before but with this blood loss and her weakness, she's in danger now."

"Feyre," Rhys kisses my temple and I cling to the sound of his voice. "I know you made me promise never to do this again, but you need me to do this. For the sake of you and our little star."

He presses another kiss to my temple and grips my hand tighter. Sudden energy flows through me and my head clears considerably. I lean my head backwards, resting it on Rhys shoulder. I listen to my body and push as hard as I can on the next contraction. There is still a roaring in my ears, but this time I can hear Madia's voice counting out loud.

The moment she says ten, I stop pushing, attempting to gain my breath. The strength Rhys is giving me helps me to prepare for the next contraction and I push again. I keep pushing and pausing, pushing and pausing. I start crying, desperate to have my baby out of me and to get my body back. For this pain to finally end. The sobs keep coming as Rhys and Mor try to reassure me.

"I know this is exhausting, Feyre," Madia tells me, draping a clean, warm towel over my knees. "but this will be the very last push, I promise. Baby is almost here and ready to meet their mummy."

With the last ounce of strength from my body, and the strength given to me by Rhys behind me, I force one final push from my exhausted body, screaming out with the pain. All of a sudden, the pressure disappears and Madia catches a small body, wrapping them in a towel. She hurries off to the vanity on the opposite side of the room. I take a few deep breaths and my heart stops when I realise that there is no sound like there should be.

My baby isn't crying.

"What's going on?" I ask, my voice incredibly hoarse. Rhys has broken the connection between us, and my body threatens to drag me under to gain back my strength, but I refuse to let it. I need to know. "What's wrong with my baby?"

Madia remains quiet, her back to me. "They just need a little shock to wake up."

Instantly, those words put me on high alert. Every instinct tells me to go over to her. I try to climb out of the bed, but Rhys holds me still, refusing to let me move. A fierce protectiveness hits me to try and hold my child, but the arms around me hold firm.

" _Please_ …" I beg Rhys, dropping back against him. Sobs start flowing from me as there are still no cries from the little life I grew within me. " _Please, please, please."_

Mor moves over to the midwife as Rhys holds me tighter, burying his head in my shoulder whilst trying to soothe me down our bond. But it doesn't work. I can hear the two females in front of me murmuring together, Madia still trying to get them moving.

"I've killed them. Oh Mother, I've killed my baby." I moan out, emotions all over the place. There is such deep emptiness within me at the prospect.

Rhys quickly hushes me. "No, no, no. Feyre, you have done no such thing. It's going to be all right. Madia will get them moving for us."

I continue crying, cuddling more into Rhys, ignoring the continuing pain. But I hurriedly sit up some time later – it could have been seconds, minutes, hours… But I do not care. Not when I can hear my baby crying. My gaze fixes on Madia as she and Mor wrap up the tiny squirming body in a small blanket and rush over to me. Mor happily hands over my child and I hold them reverently against my sweaty chest.

"Congratulations, Feyre." Madia says, moving back between my legs. "You've got a beautiful little girl."

The sight of my daughter in my arms, her cries ceasing and her body relaxing against me, has me bursting into a fresh wave of tears – this time, of the upmost happiness. Her eyes open momentarily, showing off a brilliant bright blue to me before she settles. Pain ripples through me once again and I wince. Seeing this, Madia stands.

"It's just the afterbirth, dear. Much easier. One push, then it is all done."

I force the placenta out of me and fall back against my mate's chest, completely and utterly drained. But that doesn't stop me looking down at the bundle in my shaky arms. I lean in to kiss her forehead, feeling the silky skin against my lips.

Rhys gently pulls me back against him, his arms coming around to cradle beneath mine. I turn my head towards him, resting my forehead against his cheek.

"I am so incredibly proud of you." he tells me. I can see the love in his eyes so clearly, and feel it flood across our bond. "I love you so much."

I return the sentiment, relishing the kiss he places to my cheek before focusing on our daughter. He trembles slightly, tears of his own falling at the sight of the little life we created together. Shifting to my left makes me look up and see Mor sitting back down, tears on her cheeks as a grin spreads across her face.

"She's so beautiful." she whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to her niece's head then my own. "Congratulations, Fey. I'm going to leave you two to it and let the boys know. I assume that the others may have arrived as well whilst we've been in here."

"Thank you, Mor." I say to her, wishing my voice was stronger, less hoarse. "For everything you've done for me and your new niece."

Mor claps a hand momentarily over her heart and gives me a one-armed hug. "I promised that I would be with you and support you every step of the way. I've kept that promise for a century. That won't be changing any time soon, Fey. I'll be back soon with some food for you since you haven't eaten."

I watch Mor leave the bedroom before looking back down at the baby now completely peaceful in my arms. It is utterly baffling to think that this tiny little girl has been growing inside me for months now and here she is.

"Hello, my little star." I whisper to her, running a fingertip over her delicate cheek.

Rhys squeezes me gently, his own hand moving to cup the back of our daughter's head.

"She is incredible, just like her mummy." he mumbles to me. He is quiet for a moment, the only sounds in the room being Madia cleaning everything up after having finished doing the very same to me. "I know we struggled thinking of names for her, not knowing if she would be a boy or not, but seeing her in your arms… I have an idea."

I turn my head to kiss his jaw. "I'd love to hear it, Rhys."

"We don't have to consider it if you don't like it…" I give him a pointed look, knowing that he is trying to delay telling me. I never thought I would see him so worried about this.

"I was thinking that perhaps we could call her Charlotte. Lotty for short?"

I look back at our little star, content in my arms. She wiggles ever so slightly, her head shifting, and I cannot think of anything more perfect. A perfect little girl with the perfect mate I could ever ask for.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello, hello! Since I had paramedics out to me yesterday at work (embarrassing!) and new pain meds given to me by my GP, I'm off work today to try and rest which my body really needs for once instead of trying to push through it all! So, here we are with another chapter for you!**

 **Thank you for your kind reviews on the previous update - and those who have sent me a message wishing me well! My body is just being a bit of a bastard at the moment with the pain I'm having to deal with - which makes me pass out (hence paramedics yesterday due to almost fainting a lot) Progress with the hospital and getting anything done takes ages so just having to move along at their pace! Hopefully I will start getting somewhere!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

Somehow, my absolutely amazing and beautiful little girl is a week old. It has been a wonderful week, adjusting to life with Charlotte officially here with us. However, it has also been very hard.

I currently sit on the edge of my bed, Lotty nestled in my arms having just finished feeding for now. She has been extremely fussy the past two days and is only calm when she is being held, mostly by me which I cannot help but suspect is because of my mood. I'm very tired, and very sore despite the joy of having my baby in my arms.

I refuse to admit it to anyone, considering how I was - how annoying I must have been - in the final few months of my pregnancy, but I am struggling after the complications of the birth a week ago. Fae healing is different when it comes to pregnancies, but mine is slower than Madia had expected. Not to mention the fact that there _were_ complications and I had lost a considerable amount of blood. I had to remain in bed for the rest of the day, and the day after the birth to try and gain some semblance of strength to even sit up.

Rhys has been utterly amazing though. He's been taking Charlotte so I can rest, changing her and keeping her as calm and as happy as he can. But, despite the daddy-daughter bonding and knowing she is safe with my mate, I have barely slept this past week. Not just because little Lotty wants feeding, every few hours, but because I'm so incredibly afraid to sleep. I don't want to wake up to my daughter not breathing. I cannot deal with that terrible feeling again.

I genuinely thought I had killed her.

At the sound of soft footsteps, I look up. Mor walks into the room, a bright smile on her face matching the bright yellow socks she has on. Rhys is standing over at the vanity, folding various muslin cloths and tiny clothes that Lotty has been in since her birth. It is oddly domestic of my mate but I know he is reluctant to be away from our little miracle, or me.

"How are you doing, Fey?" Mor asks, leaning against the bedpost on my right. She crosses her arms over her ample chest, an action she admitted to me a few days ago that she has to do to stop reaching out and squishing her little niece with hundreds of kisses and cuddles.

Lotty lets out a little squawk and I place my focus on her, helping her settle back down, running a fingertip over her delicately pointed ear. Her beautiful blue eyes open for a moment before her head turns back to my chest, resting over my heart. I watch her for any signs that she may want to feed again but she simply settles back down. I kiss her downy head before looking back up at Mor, noting that Rhys' eyes are also on me.

"I'm okay." I tell her, shooting a weak smile in her direction.

Rhys steps over from the vanity, one of Lotty's onesies unfolded and slightly creased in his hands. Concern is written all over his face.

"You really need to get some rest, darling." he tells me, his voice soft. "You've barely slept since the birth and you're still healing; not to mention Madia said that your birth was considerably difficult on you and your body. If you weren't so stubborn, you would be properly resting in our bed."

"I agree." Mor says, jumping in. Her gaze implores me to listen to her, seeing that my mouth has opened in protest. "Lotty has been doing amazing since she was born, there are no concerns about how she is doing. Rhys and I can take good care of her whilst you get some sleep."

I attempt to make my protest again, wanting to insist that I am all right, but a sharp pain travels through my stretched abdomen, making me wince. A slight gasp even escapes. Mor shakes her head, sitting on the bed beside me now and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"We aren't going to give you a choice with this, Fey." she says, quieter than before. "Not only was your labour long and difficult for you, not to mention dangerous, the end of your pregnancy had already sapped most of your strength. If not for Rhys during the birth, you might not have... you wouldn't have made it. You really need rest to get back to the Feyre we know and love."

I look at my mate and the woman I consider my sister's faces, seeing deep worry in their features. My gaze drops to my little girl, peaceful as she begins to properly slumber. I know I need to rest so I can be strong for her, to be able to produce the milk she drinks to survive, to be able to take care of her.

"I'll rest." I say, relenting, looking back up. "I just… I worry about Lotty. I never want to feel the way I did when I thought I had killed her by not being strong enough to birth her without help."

Rhys comes over, kneeling in front of me. He presses a kiss to my lips before he holds his arms out and I transfer our daughter into his embrace. I watch as he stands and moves around to the other side of the bed, to his side. He carefully climbs on and relaxes against the pillows, laying Charlotte on his chest. I look at Mor who nods encouragingly, and I shift, laying down next to my mate.

"We will remain right beside you whilst you sleep." Rhys mumbles to me, one hand resting on our daughter's back and the other grasping my hand. "You have nothing to worry about, I promise."

My eyelids become heavy as I feel Mor behind me, running a delicate hand over my hair. "I love you guys."

Love flows down the bond, the image of Rhys' smile floating alongside it considering my eyes are now shut. Two pairs of lips press kisses to my head and as I drift off, I feel nothing but filled to the brim with beautiful love for my family.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello, hello! So, I am still off work and by the looks of it, not at work tomorrow either because my body seems to have just given up. *shrugs* Oh well! So, here we have another update. I'm quite excited for this one - it certainly made me smile!**

 **Thank you so much for your reviews guys. It truly does warm my heart to see such positivity.**

 **Keep Smiling!**

It is strange to think that my little girl is so young. It genuinely feels like years since she arrived, but it has only been fifteen days. Very slowly, strength is returning to my body so for the first time since that incredibly long labour, I am downstairs in our sitting room, lounging in the large armchair that I had taken residence in during my pregnancy. Lotty is resting on my chest as I recline slightly, her head pillowed on my breast as she slumbers.

Rhys has gone to the kitchens to get me something to eat and a large glass of water, having heard my stomach grumble _very_ quietly and insisting on ensuring I want for nothing. Mor has gone out for the first time since the birth, since she is utterly obsessed and in love with her niece, and is with Amren and Nesta, claiming to do some shopping around. Az and Cass are sitting either end of the couch opposite my chair, insisting on keeping an eye on me and Lotty. Apparently, the instincts they had when I was carrying Lotty has grown exponentially now she is here.

It hasn't escaped my notice that Az keeps glancing over in my direction, eyes fixing on Lotty's face. Cass is busy reading a book he discovered in the library and now cannot put down. Az has a book of his own but he has been on the same page for a good ten minutes.

"Do you want to hold her?" I ask Az, startling him. The longing in his eyes when he looks at my little girl is huge.

An unnatural blush creeps on his cheeks, dusting his skin pink. "I wouldn't want to upset her. Or hurt her."

"You would never hurt her, Az. You know that." I say, my voice soft. Yet, he remains reluctant. When I turn my head and see Cass looking at me, I smile. "Would you like to hold Charlotte?"

His eyes widen, as if surprised that I would offer. I only haven't done so until now because they've been cautious around me and wanting to let me rest. "Are you sure?"

I roll my eyes and safely hold my baby against me. I stand, slowly as pain ripples through my lower stomach, and move over to Cass. At my approach, he sits up straighter and pulls a cushion onto his lap.

"Here we go." I pass Lotty over, adjusting her body in his arms so she is properly supported and comfortable. "Here's your Uncle Cass."

He lets out a laugh before cooing down at her tiny form. My heart melts at the interaction and I kneel beside him. He gasps as she moves in his arms, stretching her legs outwards and opens her eyes. They close as quickly as they opened, and she relaxes.

"You're a gorgeous little one, aren't you." Cass says, continuing to coo down at her. "Yes, you are."

It doesn't escape my notice that Az has shuffled along the couch to better see their interaction. I let Cass interact with Lotty for a few minutes, watching Az in the corner of my eye.

"Do you want to hold her, Az?" I ask him, my voice still remaining soft. I see his mouth open in protest and I am quick to add, "Forget about any worries you have. Do you want to hold her?"

He swallows hard, then nods. Cass shifts forwards, offering Lotty back to me. I expertly scoop her up and watch as Az moves back to his end of the couch, pillow now situated in his lap. Unable to help myself, I kiss my daughter's forehead, breathing in her unique scent; a mix of me and Rhys, and something floral too. Carefully, I place Lotty in Az's arms, adjusting her like I had done with Cass to make sure her head is properly supported.

A loud squawk comes out of her mouth, unhappy about being moved. It panics Az and it is as if he just wants to pass her straight back.

"It's all right." I quickly reassure him, placing my hand on his arm. "She just wants to be comfortable. You're doing great, I promise."

Slowly, Az relaxes back into the couch, becoming more comfortable and relaxed. In turn, Charlotte does the same in his arms after wiggling around. I rise up on my knees, brushing my fingertips over her downy head.

"Uncle Azzy is a silly one, isn't he, Lotty?"

As the words sink in, Az breathes out a laugh before tears swell and spill down his cheeks. They continue falling as he stares at Lotty's peaceful face.

"Are you all right?" I ask him. Even Cass is quiet, not teasing; concerned at the sudden display of emotion.

Az doesn't reply for a moment, but when he does, it is as if his tears are heavier despite the smile on his lips.

"She is _so_ beautiful. So beautiful." he whispers. He sniffs before leaning in to kiss her head, letting his lips linger. "I'm going to be the best uncle there is, I promise you that, little Lotty."

A throat clears to my right and I look at Cass, laughing heartily.

"I think you mean _one_ of the best uncles there is." he comments, an eyebrow raising up as a smirk spreads on his face.

Az joins in with the laughter before sobering and looking back down at the precious life cradled in his arms. "I think, between us, Lotty," he whispers, love in his eyes. "that we both know Uncle Azzy is going to be the best there is."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello, hello! So, after going to the doctors yesterday (once again) I have been signed off work until after my hospital appointment next week. Let's just say you guys may get some frequent updates in this time (not promising anything, but it is a high possibility!)**

 **Thank you so much for your reviews! To** Frogger **: I'm sorry you feel that way about my spelling of Lotty. I considered using Lottie but felt it just didn't look right to me, hence my choice :)**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I step carefully into the pool of fabric, created by a gorgeous black gown decorated with small crystals to look like the night sky, with Nuala's assistance. The cut is different to what I have worn before my pregnancy, the waist beginning beneath my bust and fanning out, something I requested to hide my stomach; still considerably stretched. Rhys had told me not to be so silly, that I am beautiful and remined me that I carried our child and had grown to accommodate her. But, since given birth, I have been so insecure about how my body looks. Some of my cleavage is visible, the cut low so should my little girl feel hungry, I can feed her.

We are going to Court this evening, to present Charlotte to our people. Usually, she would have been presented a little while ago, perhaps the week after her birth, but Rhys managed to put it off until she was a month old. A few days after she was born, he had briefly gone to Court to announce that our little girl had been born, explaining that his focus would be on allowing me to rest after experiencing complications and that we would present our child later.

Nuala finishes tying up the gown, tucking the laces in so they are hidden.

"Thank you." I say to her, smiling at my appearance in the mirror which sits on the vanity. I look at the effect of the dress coupled with my completed hair, draped around my shoulders, and diadem perched on top of my head. I honestly feel like it has been years since I have felt so beautiful. "I really appreciate your help, Nuala. You can head back now, I'll be fine."

As I move to sit on the edge of the bed, I watch her practically float out of the room. I smile, knowing she will be heading back to Cerridwen and Elain at my old house. Hopefully, I'll be able to head over there myself. I've only seen my sisters once since Lotty was born. My low-heeled boots are waiting, and I tug them on, knowing anything higher than the couple of inches they are will result in unwanted pain in my feet and ankles. The moment they're on, I stand and walk the two paces to the bassinet that lives beside the bed.

Charlotte is dressed in a gorgeous deep purple onesie, a gift from Mor who is accompanying us tonight and insisted upon seeing her niece wearing it if we could, and is laying peacefully upon her thin covers; to ensure she doesn't overheat.

I coo down at her, sliding my hands beneath her tiny body and lift her to cradle her against my chest. Instantly, she snuggles into me, something that never fails to make me fall even deeper in love with her. Ensuring she is secure with one hand, I pick up the soft blanket I hand-knitted for her. I lay it out on the bed then, almost reluctantly, place Lotty down upon it. The wool is wrapped snugly around her before I eagerly pick her up again, laying her head on my collarbone; her favourite place.

"My beautiful girls."

I turn around and see Rhys leaning against the bedroom door, arms crossed over his chest, one leg swung over the other. I roll my eyes and he lets out a laugh, approaching us. He tucks his fingers beneath my chin, lifting my head to drop a kiss to my lips.

"We're ready to go if you girls are."

I nod, kissing Lotty's forehead when she squawks slightly. "Let's go."

…

Since the war against Hybern and its King, coming to Court has been a considerably different affair. As we walk into the throne room, there is such a different atmosphere surrounding the event. Our people bow to us, and straighten up, not remaining prone until their High Lord says otherwise. The faces are brighter, happier and whilst they remain reserved around Rhys, they are not cowering.

Rhys gallantly steps up the dais and extends his hand out to me. I adjust my hold on Lotty, who is laying in my arms now, so I can take his hand and climb the few steps. It sends an ache through my stomach, my body still not healed yet but Madia has assured it shouldn't be much longer until everything is healed and my stomach will begin to shrink back. When I am standing beside him, Rhys' arm comes around my waist.

I glance up at him and see such deep love shining in his eyes as he looks at me, then our daughter snuggled securely in her blanket against my chest, her little face peeking through.

"Welcome to all of you." Rhys says, now looking at the Fae assembled before us. "I am thrilled to return to you all, this time with my mate and our beautiful daughter. As I had mentioned the last time I was here, your High Lady had experienced some complications with the birth, which I shall not go into the details about, and had required plenty of rest whilst we adjusted to life with this wonderful little girl.

"Whilst I still insist upon my mate continuing to rest and enjoy this time with our first child, she had insisted upon coming along today as we present our daughter to you all. This beautiful little girl is the gift that my mate and I had been waiting for and it gives us the greatest pleasure to share her name with you all. So, I would like to present the Lady of the Night Court, Charlotte; named for my mother."

Shock ripples through me at his words and I ensure that it doesn't show on my face as everyone politely claps. Rhys insists on everyone celebrating, cueing the musicians in the corner to gather their instruments, ready to start playing. As everyone disperses, I turn to my mate.

"You didn't tell me it was your mother's name." I say softly, not annoyed by any means. In fact, I am touched that our little girl is named after his mother. "Or did I just forget that you may have told me?"

Rhys smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead before cupping Lotty's head. She shifts slightly, sensing her daddy there.

"We did have this conversation after she was born, but in all fairness, you were quite out of it, my darling." he tells me. "I should have gone over it again when you weren't so exhausted."

"No, it's all right." I tell him, smiling up at him. "I'll probably remember it soon enough. You know me, tired all the time."

Rhys leans in to press another kiss to my forehead. "Speaking of which, you should sit down, darling."

I nod, leaning upwards to press a kiss to his jaw before turning around and carefully taking a seat on my throne. The music begins and Charlotte stirs unhappily at the noise.

"It's all right, my sweet." I coo down at her, gently running my fingers over her cheek. Slowly she settles, relaxing once more into my chest.

By the Mother, I love her so much.

Mor comes up and stands on my left, grinning down at her niece. The boys remain at the bottom of either side of the dais, making sure that nothing may upset me or Lotty. Many of the Fae in the room come up to us, bestowing congratulations whilst others also offer small gifts. I thank each of them with a smile. Mor takes the gifts for us, collecting them on a table which is behind her.

Charlotte is quiet until just over an hour later when she becomes fussy. I watch as her head nudges against my breast, small hand flailing once it escapes the confines of her blanket, seeking her meal.

"Are you hungry, Lotty? Hmm?" I coo, rubbing her cheek and watching as she seeks the touch, trying to pull my finger into her mouth.

Mor notices and moves in front of me. "Go ahead, Fey." she mumbles, giving me enough modesty in front of the Court.

I reach up and unhook the front part of my dress, the small hooks cleverly hidden by the fabric, to bare one of my breasts. I guide Lotty in, shifting her closer, and she latches on with vigour. I let her settle, getting into her regular rhythm of suckling before I adjust her blanket, so it is higher, hiding her head and the majority of my breast. Mor pulls it up a bit more before she steps away, shooting a smile in my direction.

Feeling eyes on me, I turn my head to the right, seeing Rhys staring at both of us with such love in his gaze – a habit of his, it seems. He grins when he realises I have noticed his attention and then looks forwards when another brave soul approaches us, offering congratulations. But then he asks for a moment of his High Lord's time, wanting to discuss some housing issues. I nod encouragingly when Rhys looks at me, and he stands to go over the issues with the male elsewhere; perhaps wanting to see the issues for himself.

My gaze drops back to Lotty, feeling the strength of her suckling deplete as she drinks herself into milky oblivion. It is such a strange feeling, knowing that I provide the food that keeps her tiny body alive and growing, but it one the very best feelings I know I will ever experience.

Another hour passes by, Lotty is fast asleep against my now covered breast and everyone is celebrating jovially, the alcohol free flowing. Rhys stands us beside me, having returned perhaps ten minutes previously, before kneeling beside his girls.

"Would you like to go home?" he asks me, running a finger over the fist Lotty has curled on my chest. "I can feel your exhaustion down the bond, and you know how I feel about making sure you rest considering how little sleep you get."

I nod, knowing that I want to just curl up in bed beside my mate and getting some sleep before Lotty wakes for her next feed. He kisses the top of my head and strides to the boys, letting them know that we plan on leaving. I wrap up Lotty more securely in her blanket and stand up, Mor moving to walk beside me.

We say our farewells to various members of the Court, Rhys sticking close beside me as we smile and nod in thanks for everyone's generosity tonight. Eventually, we reach the doors to the throne room and slowly walk out. I cannot help but look down at the sleeping babe within my arms.

Lady Charlotte of the Night Court… our future could not be in better hands.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Helo, hello! Another update! Despite still feeling awful, I'm quite excited for tonight. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO SEE IAN MCKELLEN AT THE THEATRE TONIGHT AND I AM SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW! *squeeee* I cannot believe I'll be so close to him!**

 **Thank you so much for all your reviews! I love each and every one of you!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

"Come on, baby girl. Please." I beg desperately.

Lotty has been very fussy, not wanting to calm down regardless of my efforts. Last night, I slept no more than perhaps twenty minutes, if that, because she had been crying. But she isn't injured in any way, she has no fever, not a hint of illness present. There is no sign that anything is wrong with her at all.

I am exhausted and freely admit that my emotions are all over the place. Lotty will not settle unless she tires herself out and she has very little interest in feeding to try and soothe her. Whenever she has been asleep, I've been watching over her carefully, refusing to rest in case this is something that was caused by her birth and the complications I suffered.

I will not cope if I see that she has stopped breathing. It is truly my worst fear and it the fire fuelling my anxiety since the birth.

I'm sitting in the middle of the bed, crying silently as Lotty lets out numerous whimpers and sobs, no position comfortable for her it seems. Rhys walks out of the doorway for the bathing room, trousers slung low on his hips and his chest bare. He frowns at the sight of me but I focus on Lotty, rubbing my hand over her back and trying to help her relax.

"Let me take her for a while." His voice is a mumble as he sits beside me on the bed, running his palm over my back. I'd taken her into the nursery during the night to let my mate sleep - though I am sure he had remained awake with me, feeling all I have been dealing with down our bond. He just knew that I was trying to let him rest, and respected that. "You're struggling, sweetheart. Let me give you a break."

I let out a harsh sob before biting my lip hard. "I can't even soothe my own baby, Rhys. I'm such a bad mother."

"Never think that, Feyre." Rhys tells me, pulling me into his side. He presses a kiss to my temple, letting his lips linger. "You are an amazing mother. It's just difficult to work out what Lotty needs, that's all. She can't tell us what she needs, so we need to guess."

He shifts and holds out his arms. I gently pass Charlotte over, wiping my cheeks roughly to remove the tears. He shifts her so her head rests on his collarbone, but it does nothing to soothe her cries. But then… he sings…

 _Lavender's blue, dilly dilly,_

 _Lavender's green_

 _When I am king, dilly dilly,_

 _You shall be queen._

I feel my mouth drop open, but I remain quiet. Rhys' voice is stunning...

 _Call up your men, dilly dilly,_

 _Set them to work_

 _Some to the plough, dilly dilly,_

 _Some to the fork._

 _Some to make hay, dilly dilly,_

 _Some to thresh corn_

 _While you and I, dilly dilly,_

 _Keep ourselves warm._

I watch as Rhys begins to gently sway, resting his head upon our daughter's.

 _Lavender's green, dilly dilly,_

 _Lavender's blue_

 _If you love me, dilly dilly,_

 _I will love you._

Complete awe fills my being after hearing the song complete. The only times I have heard Rhys singing is when he is blindingly drunk and that… well, no one wants to hear that.

He continues humming under his breath, repeating the song. When I look at our little girl, she is peacefully asleep, her tiny body scrunched up against his firm, warm chest, her fists curled up.

"I never knew you could sing like that." I say, my voice barely there. "I've only ever heard your horrific caterwauling."

He laughs before shrugging his left shoulder, embarrassed. Even the delicate point of his ear has turned pink. "My mother would sing it to me when I was _very_ young but after she… well, I never sang it aloud." He breathes a sigh, cuddling his daughter closer. He rest his lips against her head. "I wonder…"

He remains quiet for a long moment, concerning me, and I ask, "What is it?"

He smiles, reassuring me as if he knows my heart casually skipped a beat. "I'm wondering if Lotty's upset has been due to the potential that her body is fighting against having wings, since she has not shown any sign of them to us. It would make sense considering I have them, and you can produce and use them."

I feel a frown pull at my brows as my eyes remain on Lotty. "Is there any way we can help her? I hate not being able to do anything for her."

"I know, darling. I think this is just something that is down to Lotty. She'll end up deciding. Either way, I'm sure she'll have wings if her parents are anything to go by."

I smile softly at my mate before leaning against him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He begins humming under his breath again as Lotty shifts against his chest.

"I have a feeling you'll be singing to Lotty rather a lot." I whisper. "She is a definite daddy's girl already; has you wrapped around her little finger."

A grin forms on Rhys' lips and he pecks the top of Lotty's head. "I am very gladly wrapped around that tiny finger, my darling." He lifts his gaze to me. "Just as I am wrapped around yours."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello, hello! I am so sorry for the delay in between posting - with my health being as bad as it is, I am getting extra unhealthy stress thanks to work because of my absences - despite most of it being doctor orders *sigh***

 **Anyway, thank you for all your reviews! This one is a very short update but I hope to get back into the flow of posting soon! I know small updates after such a gap can be frustrating, and I do apologise, but they will get longer again!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I walk into the warmth of our bedroom from the adjoining bathing room, tightening the belt of my thin red silk robe. For the first time in the two wonderful and amazing months since Lotty was born, I've had a beautifully relaxing bath; my only focus for a length of time being me. I stop short, however at the sight in front of me. It is one that brings an easy grin to my lips, no matter how many times I may witness it.

Rhys is reclining on our bed, his feet planted whilst Charlotte rests most comfortably on his thighs, her little legs resting on her daddy's stomach. I can see her tiny hands are wrapped around his index fingers, which flail slightly as she gurgles happily and adorably up at him.

I walk up to the bed, expanding by grin when my mate glances at me. He turns back to our daughter, cooing down at her, making silly kissy noises, much to her joy. Sitting down, I snuggle up into Rhys's side, resting my shin on his firm shoulder.

It has only been a recent development, but my heart easily melts into a puddle any time I see it directed at me or Rhys. Lotty give gummy smiles to her daddy, amused by his silliness to keep her content and entertained. I reach in and run my fingers over the back of her right hand, tightly holding onto his finger as if she never intends to let go.

Just two weeks ago, Lotty had her awful bout of fussiness. Rhys had considered that it could be her body fighting the potential presence of wings. After having Madia check her over and find nothing that could suggest any sort of illness, we had stuck with that assumption. Slowly, the fussiness had dwindled until she is as she is now… happy and thriving.

"I don't think she'll have wings like mine." Rhys says out of the blue, ceasing his amusing noises for the moment. Lotty, however, continues to gurgle away. "But I have no doubt that she'll be producing them when she is a bit older, when she has some concept over her abilities to make them appear."

I laugh fondly, kissing Rhys' shoulder. He leans his head against mine, making kissy noises to Lotty again so we can see her gummy smile and hear what is the beginnings of a laugh.

"Well," I say, cuddling closer into his side. "I am positive that we will be flying around Velaris, terrorising everyone in the future."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello, hello! Back with another update! This one is longer as the previous update, as promised! Thank you so much for all your reviews on the previous chapter - hopefully there won't be big gaps between updates again. This month I am mostly focusing on my novel for CampNaNoWriMo, but I am ensuring to get some of this in too -I love Feysand too much!**

 **I've had a few questions about Lotty having wings - that is something that will be addressed again in a later chapter so I won't say anything specific, just know all shall be revealed :)**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I look up from my place on the bed as my mate stumbles unceremoniously into our bedroom. The idiot has decided to go out for the evening and get blindingly drunk, something I am sure is Az and Cassian's influence upon him. They had offered to take him out for a few hours, just as Mor had done for me a few days ago with Amren and Nesta, to give me a night off just for myself, and I had immediately agreed considering how involved he is with taking care of Lotty. But, I did not agree to him drinking what must be his body weight in alcohol and walking in hours later than I originally anticipated.

It takes him a moment to realise that despite it being close to two in the morning, I am sitting up, wide awake, on the bed with the covers tangled around my legs as I feed our three-month old daughter. But, very quickly I wish he hadn't noticed us - or that he was actually sober. He lets out a drunken sob at the sight of me.

"Oh, Feyre!" he exclaims, stumbling a step as he flings his arms wide. "You're _sooooo_ beautiful, darling. I don't deserve you… You're so beautiful!"

Lotty fusses as the fact his voice has grown into a shout and I look down to see her detaching from my breast, too upset to feed any more despite only being latched on for a couple of minutes. I cover my chest before gently bringing her up so her head rests on my shoulder. She lets out small whimpers and cries and I sway, trying to comfort her as my hand smooths over her back.

"Our little girl is so beautiful!" Rhys continues to shout, sobbing wildly as the alcohol clouds his mind. "We waited _so long_ for her to come. She is so precious. I love her so much! I love you both, so, so, so, so, so, so much!"

I let out a curse beneath my breath, Lotty becoming more upset at the noise her father is making so early in the morning when she'd rather have a full belly and both of us be asleep. Carefully, I climb out of bed, holding my little one close against my chest. Rhys continues his blubbering, talking to himself randomly.

That male will be the death of me one day.

I continue trying to soothe Lotty as I pad over to the door.

"Mor?" I call out, the moment the door is open.

It takes less than a minute for my sister in all but blood to appear, tugging the sash of her robe around her waist. Her hair is mussed, sticking up slightly on one side from how she must have been laying. I know for sure I don't look much better.

"What's wrong, Fey?" she asks, realising that her niece is not happy at all rather quickly. She comes up to my side, resting her hand beside mine on Charlotte's back.

"Help." I say simply, tipping my head in the direction of the interior of the bedroom.

Stepping aside, I allow Mor entry. She brushes her hand over Lotty's head before moving in. I hear that a growl releases itself from the back of her throat after two steps.

"Rhysand, by the mother, what do you think you are doing?!" Mor shouts at him, gaining his attention. His blubbering stops for a moment in his shock. "Your mate and child do not need this at two in the bloody morning!"

Rhys either doesn't take in the words, or just chooses to ignore them. Instead, he stumbles towards Mor, his arms stretched out and now blubbering nonsense at her. She turns away from him, back to me.

"Is Lotty all right? Please don't tell me he disturbed her."

I nod then press a kiss to Lotty's head as she slowly calms back down, feeling comfort from me. Hopefully she will continue her feed once she has calmed completely, my breasts are aching quite badly and if she doesn't, that pain will only grow.

"She had just started her feed when the idiot came in." I explain, glancing to my mate and seeing him standing there with a ridiculously dopey expression on his face. His gaze is somewhat fixed on Lotty's scrunched up body. "I don't know why the boys let him get like this. He has barely had anything alcoholic since we found out I was pregnant – he didn't want me feeling left out, as you know. I certainly didn't let myself get like this when you took me out! I had half a glass of wine; that was it!"

Mor shakes her head, focusing her attention on Lotty, stroking over her head and cooing to her. "It's all right, Lotty. Auntie Mor will sort Daddy out." She leans in to kiss the back of her head before straightening back up. "I'll take him to one of the guest rooms that are further away so you can both rest as you need to."

I consider it for a moment before shaking my head. "Take him downstairs. He can sleep on the couch in the sitting room. That'll teach him not to drink so much and come home in such a state."

A grin overtakes Mor's face. Evidently, she is very happy with my plan.

"I'll get him down there now then." she says. "Get some rest, Fey. If needs be, I'll deal with him in the morning. In fact, no, I _will_ deal with him in the morning and make sure he grovels to you."

I thank her and she presses a kiss to my cheek, then another one to Lotty's head before dragging Rhys out of the room, still blubbering nonsense in his drunken state. He tries to resist but stops when I shoot him a stern glare. Slowly, they shuffle out, Mor offering me a smile before shutting the door behind her.

I let out a sigh of relief, shifting Charlotte so she is nestled into my arms. Now calm, her head twists in her search for sustenance. Moving back to the bed, I resume my previous position and shift the top of my sleep shirt down, so my breast is exposed. The moment her mouth brushes against my nipple, she latches on and suckles fiercely, catching up on the food she initially wanted to fill her little belly.

"Well then, Lotty." I say on a sigh, watching as my little one screws up her hand into a fist and rests it on my bare breast. "Looks like Daddy is going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow morning."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hello, hello! Look who is back, back, back again! This chapter is quite a long one - in fact, it is the longest of the story!**

 **Thank you so incredibly much for all your reviews! One reviewer asked how many more chapters there may be coming for this story. So far, I have another 4 chapters outlined before we reach the end of this story. Potentially, more may be added but it is more than likely to end there.**

 **Keep Smiling!**

I slowly walk around the sitting room, Lotty sitting on my hip, holding on to my shirt with a tight grip. She is very grouchy and has been for the past few days. My poor little star keeps rubbing her fist over her gums, always wanting to feed to help soothe her. Rhys has barely held our little one, Lotty not feeling comforted since he cannot feed her like I can. He can't help her.

We had agreed before she was born that our powers would not intervene with the way Lotty grows up - we won't take away pain that is part of growing up, fix scraped knees with a wave of our hand... I think we are both regretting that at this point, but we made a vow that neither of us want to turn our backs on.

Sighing, I sit in my armchair. Shifting back far enough, I lift my legs – planting my feet on the cushion beneath me – so I can rest my star on my thighs. I hand her the muslin cloth from the arm of the chair, and she takes it, immediately placing it into her mouth to fiercely suck it. However, very quickly she grows frustrated, letting out small whimpers and growls as she finds no relief from the soft material.

"Oh, my little star." I mumble, taking the cloth away as her hand flails, wanting it gone. "It's all right. Come here, let Mummy try and help."

I slide my hands beneath her body and adjust her, so she is laying stomach to stomach with me. Immediately, she knows what she is about to have and her hand rests on my breast just as I've lifted up my shirt and pulled down the flexible band covering my bust. She latches on to my breast and I slowly rock side to side, hoping to soothe her enough to maybe help her nap for a little while. A way of ensuring she doesn't feel pain for a while.

However, a few minutes pass and Lotty decides that even the prospect of milky oblivion isn't good enough to remove whatever pain she is feeling. This teething business is no bloody fun at all.

Lotty whimpers loudly and the moment I have readjusted my clothes, I pick her up to cuddle against my chest. Her face falls to rest against my neck. "I know, sweetheart. I know. I'm sorry I can't help you more." I say to her, pressing kisses to the top of her head. A thought appears in my mind and I shift until I am standing. "Let's go out for a little while, little star. Get some fresh air together."

I winnow us up to the bedroom, Lotty used to the sensation now, and walk through the door which connects to Lotty's room. I coo softly to her, placing her down momentarily in her beautifully crafted cot before moving around to find her large scarf so I can carry her around against me whilst keeping my hands free. I wind it around my body, leaving it loose so I can slip Lotty in. I pick her up from her cot and wrap her up. She manages to settle in against my chest, resting her head comfortably on my breast – but that doesn't stop her pain.

I move back into the bedroom and slip on my pair of maroon velvet slippers and one of my loose cardigans, glad to know it isn't cold outside.

"Let's go and see if Auntie Mor want to come along, shall we?"

We walk out the bedroom and down the corridor. Rhys and the boys had gone earlier this morning to help out a sector in Velaris where there had been a fire, insisting that they help rebuild so no one is left without a proper roof over their heads for longer than necessary. Mor, however, said that she wouldn't go to rebuild but head down later to distribute food and clothing to those who need it.

I knock twice on her door before stepping inside the room. But I am drawn to a halt by all the clothing and blankets and just _stuff_ covering all the surfaces.

"You've been busy, Mor." I say, watching her step out of her bathing room. "Are you also trying to sort everything out on top of getting some essentials?"

Mor laughs, swiping her hand over the top of her head, hair pulled back roughly to fall down her back. "Well, it never hurts and considering it has been quite a while since I have bothered to actually go through my stuff, it is needed anyway."

I hum, knowing she can be rather messy. Not to mention how she likes to hoard different clothing. When we moved from the town house to our wonderful home, she didn't bother going through her stuff, just packed it up in her eagerness. "Well, I'm taking Lotty to the townhouse. See if Elain has any good teething remedies for my little star. I don't like not being able to help her properly."

Mor drops the dress she is holding onto the bed and pads over to us. She kisses the back of Lotty's head tenderly before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Stay safe, you two. You hear me?"

I laugh at the protective words Mor says – just like Rhys would were he here.

"Don't worry. We'll be back in a few hours."

…

I walk straight into the town house, my old home. An easy grin forms on my lips at the familiar sound of laughter bouncing around the walls. Not a moment later, my beautiful niece comes into view. Mirielle is such a lively six-year old, bounding down the stairs to elude her father's grasping arms.

"Auntie Fey!" she shouts out, rushing down the final few stairs to stop in front of me.

I kneel down in front of her, knowing how much she likes to see Lotty. "Hey, Miri! How are you?"

"I'm good!" she exclaims, leaning in so she can see Lotty's face as she dozes against my chest. The walk had done wonders for calming her down. "Daddy was chasing me but he couldn't catch me! I was fast!"

I laugh at my niece, knowing how much she likes to be cheeky towards her parents. But that just makes her more adorable. Lotty stirs against me, her bright eyes opening. I press a kiss to her forehead and Mirielle grins at her cousin, running careful fingers over Lotty's soft hair.

I lift my head up to Lucien who has just called for Elain and smile. I brush the backs of my fingers over Mirielle's rosy cheek before standing myself up again, hands cupping my daughter against my chest.

"How are you, Feyre?" Lucien asks me, coming closer to press a kiss to my cheek. He smiles down at Lotty who lets out a small whimper. "Teething time is it?"

I let out a sigh, rubbing my hand over Lotty's back. "Unfortunately. I was hoping for some help from you guys. My poor star isn't doing well."

"Feyre!" Elain says, walking into the open reception area. She tugs a pair of gloves from her hands before tucking them into the pocket on her dress. When she reaches her sister, her arms immediately open and they embrace each other. However, a little someone isn't too happy about it, just wanting her mummy against her. "Hey, Lotty." Elain coos and recognises the rosy cheeks quickly. "I should still have the ointment I used for Miri when she was teething stored away. I can have a look for it, if you'd like me to."

I let out a breath and smile. "That would be great, Elain. Thank you."

My sister smiles before pressing a kiss to Lucien's cheek and heading upstairs. Lotty whimpers against me again and I coo down at her to try and soothe her.

"Why is Teetee sad, Auntie Fey?" Mirielle asks me and I can't help but inwardly smile at her own nickname for her cousin. She latched on to Lotty but that quickly changed to Teetee and stuck

"You know that Lotty doesn't have teeth like we do just yet?" I ask her, seeing her nod. "Well, she's not feeling too good because one of her teeth are wanting to come out."

Mirielle seems rather confused about the prospect but it is quickly wiped away.

"How about we go to the kitchen?" Lucien suggests and I nod. I wouldn't mind a drink of something, if I'm perfectly honest. He looks down at his little girl with a smile. "Shall we see if Auntie Nesta has made some of her tasty biscuits, petal?"

I follow my family into the kitchen, the beautiful scent of vanilla biscuits filling my nose. Nesta has really honed in on an amazing skill since she started working in the best bakery in Velaris. I hate not seeing this side of my family as much as I'd like to, especially since my sisters are the only ones who understand what it was like to be human turned Fae. I'll have to try and make more of an effort to stop by.

Nesta smiles at me as we walk in before it blossoms into a grin at the sight of our niece. Mirielle bounces up and down on her toes, looking at the iced biscuits lined up on the counter, each with a beautifully elegant design on top of each of them. I must admit, I'm rather enticed by them myself.

"Can I have one, Auntie Nesta?" Mirielle begs, trying to turn on her puppy eyes. I've been on the receiving end of those many times in the past; mainly to swoop her up into the air and fly around – before I was pregnant, of course.

"I think you're forgetting something there, petal." Lucien points out, running his hand over her unbound hair. "We've talked about this, haven't we."

Mirielle repeats her words, this time with a drawn out _please_ that makes me chuckle. Although, the movement upsets Lotty and she lets out small sobs, clearly overtired and frustrated.

"I know, little star." I coo down to her, running my fingertips over her cheek. When her head turns, searching, I sit down on one of the stools against the large counter and adjust my shirt. I offer a breast to her and she latches on, her sucking strong but cautious due to her tender gums. I keep my gaze on her for a moment, one hand gravitating to rest beneath her rump whilst the other rubs over her back.

When I look up, it is clear that Nesta has caved as Mirielle munches very happily on one of the biscuits, sitting on Lucien's hip. I notice Nesta looking at me, her mouth opening as if she wants to say something before she hastily shuts it. I'm about to ask her what's wrong when Elain comes swooping into the kitchen.

"Here you go, Feyre." She hands over a small glass bottle, half full with a golden liquid. I look at it for a moment, tilting the bottle in the light before sliding it into the pocket in my cardigan. "If you rub this over her gums when she's struggling, it will numb them for a time. It'll be very strange for her, Miri could get upset sometimes because it isn't a normal sensation so Lotty could be the same. Just let me know if you need any more once that runs out and I'll get another bottle. It is a miracle worker, but it's all worth it when that tooth breaks through."

"I should hope so." I say, unable to stop my sigh escaping. "I've tried soothing her as much as I can. Rhys, bless him, has tried his best to help but he has barely held our little star over the past few days. She just doesn't want to be with anyone but me, but even nursing can't help her entirely. I hate seeing her like this, so unhappy."

Elain runs her hand down my arm, smiling softly at her niece who is still nursing. I glance down at Lotty, seeing her eyes growing heavy and take it as a very good sign. Hopefully she can get a good nap and some relief.

"She'll be all right." Elain tells me, bringing my gaze back up to her. "It's just something that all babies go through and the parents are along for the ride and unable to stop it as much as we try."

I nod, knowing that since Elain has gone through this situation herself, she understands how hard it is – and how hopeless I can feel seeing my beautiful baby girl in such discomfort.

"Thank you, Elain. I just feel…" I sigh, unable to think of the right word.

"I know." Elain says softly, smiling. Her eyes show nothing but understanding and empathy for me.

I watch as she then moves over to her mate and daughter, smiling broadly and with so much love. I feel Lotty detach lazily from my breast and I shift my attention back to her. I reach it to adjust my breast and it startles her awake again, her mouth insistently latching on my nipple again.

"Feyre?" Nesta's voice is close and when I look up at her, she seems anxious – hesitant. "Can we talk?"

I don't hesitate in agreeing, knowing that this is a big deal for my sister. I slowly stand from the stool, giving Nesta time to remove the apron from around her waist, and follow her to wherever she feels comfortable talking.

That place ends up being the gardens behind the house.

Nesta sits down on the very same bench we sat on those years ago, when Mirielle was only six-months old. The same bench when I asked her how she had the energy to avoid Cass despite their attraction, when I admitted to perhaps giving up on having a child. I lower myself beside her, jostling Lotty. She unlatches again but this time doesn't want to feed any more.

I cover my breast and run my fingers over her little head. She dozes slightly, making small noises as she stops herself falling asleep completely.

"Do you remember the last time we were sitting here like this?" Nesta asks me. I nod, meeting our gazes to show she has my attention. "You wanted to give up hope but here you are with a child."

I smile at Nesta, but it drops. I know that isn't why we are out here to talk.

"Is this to do with what else we spoke about that day? Because as wonderful and beautiful as my little star is, I don't think you'd want to talk about her away from everyone."

Nesta sighs, her gaze falling to her lap where her elegant, long fingers twist harshly in anxiety.

"I told you then that I couldn't deal with commitment and that I knew I liked being with him yet felt so scared." she mutters, keeping her gaze from me. I don't mind in the slightest, knowing my affinity for keeping my gaze somewhere _safe_ whilst I try and talk through things. "I told you that maybe one day I wouldn't feel scared to take that step. I think more than anything, I was scared because I wanted it so badly.

"Now, I am bloody terrified about how I feel because I want it. Seeing what you and Elain have it… it makes me want to have that with someone. I'm one of the three bakers who work within _The Sugar Compass_ , I've made a good living for myself. But it isn't enough…"

"You want him, don't you." I say, not even requiring it to be a question. I can feel it radiating off of her. I know that Cass has been more tense recently too, obviously frustrated because he must feel it too, but she has still pushed him away. In those instances, he has been around Lotty, having cuddles with her to remove the tension in his body. She has a talent for that.

Nesta nods, releasing a deep breath. She rubs her hands over her face, leaning over her knees.

"You know, it's all right to allow yourself to love." I tell her. I press a kiss to Lotty's head when she squawks and she settles down at the loving touch. "When I met Rhys, I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When we were Under the Mountain, he let me hate him because I had been desperate to save Tamlin. I had gone through things that should have killed a mortal like I had been easily, but because of our bargain, Rhys risked himself to save me.

"When he knew we were mates, he left me with Tamlin because he knew I loved him. But the day we were supposed to marry, he heard my pleas for everything to stop. Nothing felt right. He took me that day because he knew I didn't want to be there. I needed a way out. After the time Tamlin locked me within the house, Mor took me away and Rhys let me stay here.

"He never expected anything from me. He flirted non-stop, using that mask. Eventually I knew the male behind that mask. When he'd been taken and hurt so badly, I did anything I could to save him because that's all he did for me. When it came out that we were mates, I felt such anger that he'd known and kept it from me. But when he had found me and explained everything, I couldn't hide how I felt about him anymore. I accepted his love for me, but more importantly my love for him."

"You never told me that before." Nesta says, lifting her head. "I knew you had obviously been with Tamlin and then you were with Rhysand but… I never realised it was like that for you."

I shrug, smiling at Lotty shifts against me. "I found it difficult. Accepting my love for Rhys was the hardest and the best thing that I've done. Although, I do feel like Lotty has taken that spot in my life now."

Nesta lets out a light laugh at my words, her gaze falling to my little star bunched up against me.

"How do I tell him?" she asks after a few lengthened minutes of silence, the sound of the birds in the garden singing a joyful tune around us. "How do I _prove_ to him that I actually want this? I half wonder if I've ruined it between us. Maybe our small interludes are all we are destined to have."

"Don't say that." I tell her, resting my hand upon her own so she sees the sincerity in my eyes. "The longer this goes on, the more I see Cass feel despondent. He's gotten to the point of barely training with Rhys after and cuddles with Lotty instead. He wants it as much as you, Nesta. You need to give yourselves that chance. You know you'll regret it if you don't."

"I know. I just…" Nesta takes another deep breath. "I want what both my sisters have. You and Rhysand have Charlotte, Elain and Lucien have Miri and are considering another. I don't have that."

"But you'd like to." I say, my voice frank. She nods. "Well, the first step is talking to him. Next time you are together, don't lose your nerve and fall back to what you've been doing for so many years. Genuinely talk to him. He'll listen and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."

"You really think so?" Nesta asks me. We may not be close, but I can see my words mean a lot to her.

"I really do, Nesta." I tell her. Lotty lets out another squawk and I laugh. "Your niece agrees too."

Nesta nods, clearly feeling increasingly sure of herself and what she needs to do to truly have the happiness she wants. I smile at her. I adjust Lotty in my arms and she settles down, her rosebud mouth open and twitching as if she wants milk. It is a sight that never fails to warm, and then utterly melt, my heart.

"Auntie Nesta! Auntie Fey!" We turn our heads to see our niece running towards us, giggling her head off as she twists through the bushes. "Help! Daddy's chasing me! Help!"

I laugh, looking at Nesta. "Perhaps our niece needs saving?"

Looking happier than I have perhaps ever seen her, Nesta grins before getting up to save Mirielle from her loving father's tickling embrace.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello, hello! Here we go with another chapter! Thank you for all your reviews - you guys are amazing!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

Sitting on the floor certainly isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, that's for sure. I rest my back against the soft cushions of the armchair, an attempt to feel more comfortable, and hope my backside doesn't go numb quickly in this position. But it is utterly worth it.

My wonderful and beautiful eight-month old is on her stomach having her daily tummy time. I've laid her out on a lovely soft blanket, one gifted to us by one of the eldest Fae in Velaris who owns her own little shop of knitted goods in the Rainbow, so she isn't uncomfortable and by sitting in front of her, she is reassured by the sight of me when she gets frustrated; knowing I'm here. The frustration mainly arrives when she rolls over onto her back and can't roll over again, so she simply flails her limbs. But she does manage it often enough when she sees her mummy and daddy offering encouragement.

Rhys had gone upstairs ten minutes ago to drop of some fresh laundry to our room and fetch a fresh onesie for our daughter after she had a mix of mashed potato and carrots down her front. I blame Mor entirely, lovingly of course, as she insisted on having free rein feeding her at lunch. Evidently, Lotty takes it as a challenge to see how much food she can eat without it ever seeming to reach her mouth when she is left completely to her own devices. Whilst it can be slightly annoying having to change Lotty after a meal, it is so heart warming to see Auntie Mor in her element. She is so good with Lotty.

Bringing my attention back to my gorgeous little one, I watch in rapture as she pushes herself up, managing to slide her knees slightly beneath her. By the Mother…

"Rhys! Get down here!" I shout, unable to rip my gaze from her efforts.

I see the smile on Lotty's face when she sees me watching, I can see the determination there too. I lean forwards, getting onto my own knees in my eagerness not to miss this moment, this amazing milestone. Her little arms shake as she gets her hands properly underneath her.

There is still no sign of Rhys and I am not going to let him miss this either.

 _Rhys!_ I shout down our bond. _You need to get down here! It's urgent!_

I feel Rhys suddenly winnow in beside me. "Darling?! What's –"

I cut him off by yanking on his arm, so he is kneeling beside me. Not once do my eyes remove themselves from our little star and I know by the gasp that releases itself from my mate, he has realised what is about to happen too.

Together, we watch as Lotty gets up properly onto her hands and knees, albeit very shakily. She makes the massive achievement of crawling three daring paces. She falls back onto her tummy after, but I celebrate immediately.

"Oh, my little star!" I exclaim, sliding my hands beneath her armpits to lift her up.

I cuddle her against my chest, cheering happily for her, not caring in the slightest about potentially having potato and carrot down my front to match her.

"I'm so proud of you!" I tell her, kissing her cheek multiple times. Lotty giggles adorably at her mummy's cheer and love before I pass her over to Rhys.

He immediately takes her in and copies me, kissing her cheeks repeatedly. The sound of her happiness is something that never gets old. After a minute, he holds her out in front of him. Adorably, she pats his cheeks, spit dribbling from her mouth.

"Da, da. Da." she babbles.

Instantly, my heart melts. For a month now, I've had the honour of being 'ma'. For Rhys, the moniker of 'da' is still quite new, Lotty having only said it for two weeks now.

I watch my mate's face as the happiest of tears fill his eyes. I don't think either of us are used to it, watching Lotty grow up.

"That's right, my star." he says, his voice trembling with emotion. I cuddle up to his side, wrapping my arm around his waist as we gaze at our baby's beautiful happy face. "Daddy loves you so much and is so proud of you."

"Mummy loves you too, sweetheart." I say, leaning forwards to press a kiss to her chubby cheek at the same time as Rhys does.

Lotty squeals in happiness at the dual sensation. Sharing a glance with each other, Rhys and I lean in again and blow a raspberry on each of her cheeks, to her absolute delight.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Hello, hello! Thank you so much for your reviews on the previous chapter! Not much longer to go now until the end of this story!**

 **Pre warning. I am finally having my operation on 4th June. After that point, I'm not sure how long it will take for me to get an update out to you as it will be difficult to move around and almost certainly think! However, I am hoping to try and finish this before that point *fingers crossed***

 **Keep Smiling!**

Folding fresh laundry is something that I, strangely, always like to do. It's rather relaxing for me, folding one shirt meticulously before doing the same for another. It needed doing but it also helps to pass the time whilst Lotty is down for her nap. She was very upset before wearing herself out and falling asleep which was worrying as there appeared to be no reason for her cries. I don't want her to be alone if she wakes up crying too.

I finish up folding the last of Rhys' shirts. Quite a few had been washed as I am guilty of wearing them a lot myself as they're comfortable. Not to mention great to cuddle in after certain amorous activities…

A strange sound captures my attention and I stop all movements to try and determine what the sound is, where it is coming from. It's familiar and yet I can't put my finger on it. But, a moment later I realise it is coming from Lotty's room.

I move over to the adjoining door and walk through quicker than I intended. Anything could be going on. I first notice her cloth rabbit laying on the floor by the door. She must have thrown it – but, that is quite a way for her to throw something. The strange sound has grown louder in the room and I look up.

Shock momentarily roots me to the spot. My beautiful little girl is currently hovering above her cot, wings unsteadily flapping behind her. She's got wings. She's flying.

I rush over to her, bringing her into my arms and close to my chest at the sight of her moving even higher and shakily trying to do something. The last thing I want is to watch her injure herself. My little star giggles at me, her hands reaching up to pat away at my cheeks.

"Az!" I call out. "Can you get in here please?" I turn my attention back to my daughter. "What have you been up to, my star? Hmmm? Have you been watching daddy?"

"What's wrong?" Az asks, rushing through the door. Something I have found with Az is that anything to do with Lotty, he is there like a shot. He stops short when he notices the delicate wings protruding from her back. "Are those what I think they are?"

I laugh at his words before nodding. I explain how she had been upset before going down for her nap and how I discovered her floating above her cot.

Pride beams from Azriel's face and he comes forward, taking Lotty from my arms.

He cuddles her close, kissing her cheeks noisily. Her squeals of laughter are complete music. "Uncle Azzy is so proud of you, my little Lotty!"

"Zeeie!" she shouts, smiling brightly. Slowly, as her vocabulary grows, she has been saying everyone's names in her own adorable way. We have tried to adapt her current name for Cass as calling him 'assy' every time is hilarious but also not necessarily the best thing for a ten-month old to say.

I run my fingertips down her back, in between her wings. Within a moment, they've disappeared, and her back is wing-free again.

"She is definitely her father's daughter." I say, voice soft.

"Indeed, she is." Az says, cuddling Lotty even closer. Content, she snuggles up to him. "Your Uncle Azzy is so incredibly proud of you, little Lotty. I shall not steer you wrong. By the time I am done with you, you shall be the best flier in Velaris!"

He cheers and she joins in, reaching up to pat his cheeks and babble at him. Knowing my little girl will one day be able to fly around with us is one of the most wonderful things ever.

Oh, bloody hell. She and Rhys are going to be inseparable.

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello, hello! This is the penultimate chapter for this story! I am sorely hoping to have the final chapter written and posted before my surgery on Tuesday! As it stands, I need distraction from my anxiety so it is highly likely to be done for Monday at the latest BUT we shall see how I do. Fingers crossed!**

 **It's rather sad that we are almost at the end of this journey. I'll say everything in the final chapter but right now I just want to say a massive THANK YOU to each and every one of you, my wonderful readers!**

 **Keep Smiling!**

The atmosphere around us is bubbling with the upmost joy, the air alive and buzzing with laughter and celebration. Today is such a big milestone in our lives as my beautiful Charlotte becomes an entire year old! The people of Velaris had surprised their High Lord and Lady by holding their own all-day celebrations everywhere for the young Lady of the Court. To celebrate ourselves, we have had a relaxing day at home with a buffet of different foods for lunch whilst Lotty received her presents. We had the whole family over, with Lucien and Mirielle hosting different party games over the afternoon. Lotty had even surprised her aunts, uncle and cousin by hovering above the floor, wings flapping away happily behind her. Az had simply laughed before bringing her into his arms and cuddled her with pride beaming from him; just like he does every time she flies around.

Now, we are having dinner outside one of the modest and beautiful cafés within the Rainbow. Rhys is sitting close to my side, Nesta is wrapped up in Cass' arms and Az is sitting with Mor and Amren on the other side of the tables that have been pushed together to accommodate us outside. Lotty is snug against my chest, within the large soft scarf so I could keep her close. She is napping at the moment, as she has been for the past hour and a half or so, but knowing my little star, she'll be waking up soon enough - predominantly thanks to the smell of such wonderful food.

A slight breeze wafts through the streets and I let out the slightest involuntary shiver. Reaching down for the small bag beside my chair, on the floor, I pull out the thick knitted blanket I had made just over a year ago for my daughter's birth. By the Mother, how has a year already gone by?! Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I wrap the blanket around Lotty's body, still encased within the scarf keeping her against my chest. I'd prefer for her to feel too warm than too cold and risk catching something.

Rhys' arm sliding around my shoulders brings me back to my family around us. Having Nesta with us is something that has happened a little more often now, in between her working at her bakery, _The Sugar Compass_. She had admitted her feelings to Cass soon after we had our talk and a week later, they'd shown up to breakfast together having come from Cass' room. It has taken a few months of her trying to grasp the idea of being in a relationship and finding that new balance in her life. She seems far more at ease now, leaning her body against his broad chest and not appearing uncomfortable at the public display of affection.

"Honestly, it is amazing!" Cass gushes. Clearly I've joined in the middle of the conversation. "My Nesta's creation is genuinely the best thing I have ever tasted. Who would have known that such a mix of game and herbs could be so exquisite?"

Unable to help myself, I laugh as a dopey grin spreads quickly on his face. "You are so sickeningly sweet, Cass." He just laughs and kisses the side of my sister's reddening face.

Gryndle, the owner of the café we are at, comes over then with a few of the servers she employs to deliver our food. I decided on some delicious chicken in a beautiful and slightly spicy sauce with slices of baked potatoes on the side. Gryndle places my meal down in front of me, before also dropping an extra plate down beside my own. This one is filled with some rice, soft carrots, sweet potato cubes and a handful of peas.

I turn my head to her, and she smiles bashfully. "I apologise for being forward, High Lady, but I wanted to ensure that our Lady has some food should she be hungry when she wakes. It's on the house as it's her birthday. I insist upon it."

I smile softly. "Thank you, Gryndle. It's extremely kind of you and very thoughtful."

She bows her head before turning to do the same to Rhys and leaving. Lotty squawks against my chest and I look down to see her slowly waking up from her nap. I cuddle her closer, reassuring her that I'm here before reaching for my plate, and plucking up a slice of potato to put in my mouth.

A steady stream of chatter is kept up as we all dig into our food, enjoying the simple deliciousness and not having to cook ourselves. I eat slower than everyone else, focusing more on Lotty and watching her wake up.

"Mama… Mama… Bedabada... Dada." Lotty babbles after a few more minutes. I smile down at her, my heart never failing to warm when I hear her talking away.

I pull off the blanket from around her small body and pass it over to Rhys, who takes it without question, so I can lift our little star from the scarf.

I settle her within my lap, scooting forwards on my chair so we are closer to the table surface. My plate is pushed aside so I can bring Lotty's forwards. Quickly, she catches on and picks up some sweet potato in her fingers to mash against her mouth before finally eating it. Rhys leans in to tuck the blanket back around her little legs so she remains warm. She smiles up at him and gives him one of her cheeky, beautiful smiles which he returns without hesitation.

"I keep finding myself shocked and unbelieving that a year has passed since she officially joined us." Rhys says, leaning closer to me so I am against his side.

"I know what you mean." I lean my head against his, keeping my hands on either side of our daughter as she does love to wiggle around. "It feels like only yesterday I went through such a harsh labour and had to deal with that panic of our star being so stubborn and not breathing. But, I would do it all over again to have Lotty in our lives… Perhaps even another little one."

I lift my head and look at my mate when I feel the shock run through him. To be perfectly honest, it surprises me as well – not to mention the thought of going through all that pain again is enough to make me want to have a full-blown panic attack. But I can't get an image from all those years ago out of my head; more so since our first child is a girl.

"You want to have another child?" Rhys asks me a minute later.

I shrug my shoulder, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart. What if Rhys doesn't want to add to our family? Or go through potentially so many more years of waiting before our efforts bear fruit.

"All those years ago, the Bone Carver showed me what our son would look like, Rhys." I tell him, the image coming to my mind's eye and a sense of yearning fills me. "Maybe Lotty would like a brother, or sister, to play with – someone closer to her age? Now I have conceived, we might find that we won't have to wait so long. But we don't have to add to our family if you don't want to."

My mate smiles, his eyes briefly flowing over our family gathered around us before he glances up and down the street, taking in our people's celebrations that will almost certainly continue until the early hours of the morning despite beginning this morning. He has such a content smile on his lips, and I am able to relax when his gaze comes back to mine. Rhys leans in to press a gentle kiss to my lips.

"I would be honoured, my darling." he whispers. "Let's see where the wind takes us."

 **End note: Please review! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N is at the bottom - here is the final chapter :)**

Closing the front door behind Madia, my entire body hums noisily with nervous energy. I'd asked her to come over after not quite feeling right recently, small bouts of nausea plaguing me. Rhys had agreed with me just getting a quick check to ensure I've not caught a bug, or something more sinister. Thankfully, it falls into neither of those categories.

I walk slowly over to the sitting room, stopping in the doorway and feeling my fingers twist together with the cuffs of my thin jumper sleeves. Rhys is lounging on the floor, with our two and a half year-old and Mor. My little star is dressed in a frilly purple dress, courtesy of Mor, with her gorgeous hair partially pulled back from her face.

"Antie Morry!" she shouts as Mor goes in, tickling her without mercy. She barks out loud, unbridled laughter.

A small smile twinges at my lips, the sight of her happiness never a dull one. My gaze drifts from my daughter to my mate, seeing his concerned gaze fixed on me already. He leans into Lotty's side, whispering something into her ear. She grins widely at him before launching herself into Mor's arms. She simply takes it all into her stride, used to Lotty's excitement now, and showers her with dozens of kisses and cuddles – much to her absolute delight.

Rhys unfolds himself from the floor and makes his way over to me, taking my hands within his own. I mentally curse myself as I feel tremors coming from the appendages. Rhys releases my right hand to bring his palm up, so it cradles my cheek. I close my eyes for a moment, leaning my head into his hand and soaking in the warmth and comfort from him.

"What's wrong, darling?" he asks me. His voice is quiet, soothing.

"Nothing's wrong." I tell him, opening my eyes again. I raise my right hand to grip his wrist and tenderly place a kiss to his palm. "I just… It's confusing on how to feel considering we didn't talk about it recently, well in the past eight months or so, or even think it would happen like this."

Rhys' frown deepens and confusion is written all over his features. Ugh, I'm not saying things like I need to. "I'm confused, sweetheart."

"Well, you know I've had Madia over…" I say, pulling on his hand so it drops from my face and is folded within my own. "It's good to know that I have no illness or infection… but there is something she did pick up on. She was a bit surprised I didn't but since the symptoms are different and I feel so different…"

"Feyre, darling…" Rhys interrupts me and I realise that I've been rambling a little bit and making him even more confused. "What did Madia say? What's wrong?"

Smiling shyly, I shift our joined hands to my lower stomach, where surprisingly there is already a slight curve present. Understanding dawns in his eyes a moment later. "You're… You're…"

I nod, unable to stop the tears now suddenly sliding down my face. "I'm pregnant, Rhys. Our family is expanding."

A wide grin spreads Rhys' mouth and he laughs loudly. Joyfully, he kisses me firmly before pulling back to gaze at my stomach.

"How did I not notice?" he questions, noticing the slight curve of my stomach too. "How far along are you?"

I shrug my shoulder. "Madia estimated perhaps three to four months already if I'm starting to show. She's coming back next week to do some proper checks."

Rhys grins before kissing me again. "I'm so happy, Feyre. This is such amazing news."

"Truly?"

He hums thoughtfully. "Maybe we will have that boy you envision… Maybe _you_ will be the one wrapped firmly around our newest little one's finger."

I laugh, loud and unrestrained. "Because you aren't utterly besotted with Lotty as it is, Rhys, of course. You'll be absolutely no different with this little one."

Rhys tilts his head, trying to deny it but we both know for sure that he simply cannot. And just over six months later, when our little boy comes into the world amid another strenuous labour, yet far easier than Lotty's, I prove him utterly right.

 **End note: The biggest thank you goes to each and every one of you, my dear readers. This story has taken us all on a journey and it is rather crazy to see that it has now been completed. Never fear, I am sure I will be back soon with another Feysand story! But until then, this is it from me for this fandom. Everyone who has left a review, I truly appreciate it. Your thoughts and kind words mean everything to any writer, and I know it truly means the world to me. It has been amazing to have you on this journey with me!**

 **So, for the very final time on this story, please review! :)**

 **Keep Smiling!**


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